Fantasies can be an escape to happier times and places. However, if you spend your time dreaming more than living, then the time has come to stop. Because fantasies can be an escape mechanism, you must learn to deal with their causes. You should make an effort to redirect your thoughts and increase your concentration so that you can be more focused and alert. Your fantasies are likely to be productive as long as you channel them to become more proactive in your daily life.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Determine the Root of Your Fantasies
Step 1. Keep track of your fantasies
You should write them down to help you determine the reason for their occurrence. In addition, the act of writing helps you reorient your fantasies, allowing you to channel your imagination into a creative activity. You should describe as much detail as you can.
- Try to determine if the fantasies manifest unmet needs in your life. For example, if they are mostly sexual in nature, chances are you want more intimacy.
- You should look for patterns in each entry in your fantasy journal. If they all describe getting a better job or becoming famous in your field of expertise, your fantasies likely have to do with your ambitions in life.
Step 2. Discover the triggers
Sometimes you may find yourself fantasizing while a certain song is playing or while doing a specific activity (like driving). Every time you notice that your mind begins to wander, you must take note of everything that happens and what you are doing. Triggers could be the following:
- a place (for example, office, shower, or car)
- a type of music or sound
- an activity (for example, sitting in a meeting or walking the dog)
- a person (for example, a difficult partner or relative)
Step 3. Manage your time if you put things off because you are fantasizing
Fantasies can be an effective way to put off work. If you use your fantasies to avoid work or delay activities, it can be useful to manage your time better.
- You should stick to a schedule every day to stay within limits.
- You should complete important tasks at the beginning of the day so that you make sure you finish them.
- You should avoid doing several things at the same time, as you may not be able to focus on any task.
Step 4. Start a new hobby if you are bored
If your fantasies allow you to escape the boredom of everyday life, you probably need a new hobby or creative outlet. Your journal, creative writing or painting can offer you a creative outlet for your dreams. Active hobbies (like sports or mountain climbing) also bring some excitement to life.
Step 5. Solve your interpersonal problems to avoid romantic fantasies
If your fantasies are usually about sex or romance, chances are that you find yourself dissatisfied with your current romantic state. If you are single or in a relationship, try to find those areas in which you experience dissatisfaction so that you can improve them.
- If you are in a relationship and you keep thinking about someone from the past, you should consider whether you really want to stay with your current partner. If you decide to do this, you may find it helpful to go to couples therapy.
- If you are obsessed with people who are not available (for example, celebrities or married people), you should seek to connect with people who are available to you through internet dating or speed dating.
Method 2 of 3: Improve Your Focus and Concentration
Step 1. Change your routine
You are more likely to fantasize while performing mechanical tasks (for example, washing dishes). Instead of following the same routine or doing tasks in the same order every day, you should vary them. In this way, you add spark to your day and help your brain focus and improve its attention.
For example, if you normally wake up, exercise, pack a snack, and clean the house on Sundays, you can try something new. You can go out to eat, exercise at night, or clean the house first thing in the morning
Step 2. Refocus your attention when your mind wanders
When you find yourself on the verge of fantasizing, you must stop. You can distract yourself by starting a different task or concentrating on another object.
- To interrupt the fantasy, you can either get up and stretch or do a simple exercise (such as jumping jacks).
- Begin to focus on an object around you (for example, a paperweight or a cup). Look at its little details. Touch it to see how it feels. This operation can help you become more aware.
Step 3. Do mindfulness exercises
This practice brings you back to the present moment by making you focus on your sensations. Sit in a comfortable chair and breathe deeply. You should focus only on the sensation of your breathing. If your mind starts to wander, you should stop and begin to focus on your breathing again.
- You can start with a short period (for example, ten minutes) and work your way up to longer periods.
- You can also expand your awareness to other sensory details. For example, what are you playing? Do you smell any aroma? What sounds do you distinguish?
Step 4. Take breaks between your activities
Your brain can only focus on a task for a set amount of time before it starts to wander. Take a five to ten minute break between tasks or after an hour of work. This way, you will be able to stay focused when you start over.
Good things to do during your break include drinking a cup of tea, taking a short walk, or stretching
Step 5. Avoid multitasking
In this fast paced society, multitasking has become the norm, as people try to accomplish various activities in short periods of time. Brains are very fluid, and when you train yours to work this way, you lose the ability to focus. Lack of concentration leads to distractions (such as daydreaming or thinking about other things). You need to eliminate this habit from your life and start focusing on one task at a time.
- Turn off all your distractions and give your full attention to one task at a time.
- The moment you feel your brain start to wander, you should stop what you are doing, take a five-minute break, and go back to the same task.
Step 6. Get enough sleep
If you are sleepy, you are more likely to start fantasizing. Try to get seven to nine hours of sleep every night. It can also help to have a consistent sleep schedule (where you go to sleep and wake up at the same time).
- Try to clear your mind at night so that you don't lie awake fantasizing in bed. You can meditate before bed and avoid bright screens for an hour before bed.
- In the morning, instead of lying there daydreaming, try to get up right away and start the day.
Method 3 of 3: Make your dreams come true
Step 1. Use your fantasies to identify what you want in life
Fantasies are not necessarily fruitless activity. In fact, they can reveal to you what you long for in life. While you may not be able to become a professional golfer or marry a millionaire, you may discover more realistic goals.
For example, if you usually dream that you win the lottery, your concern is probably money. Ideally, you should start exercising more effective financial practices
Step 2. Set your goals
The best way to achieve your dreams is to set realistic and achievable goals for your life. You should break each goal down into a number of manageable steps and assign a date to accomplish each step. In this way, your fantasy can come true in no time.
If you want to have more money, you can set a savings goal. Set a manageable amount of money to save on a certain date. You can also set goals so that you get a better job or budget more effectively
Step 3. Tell other people about your goals
It is likely that you will find it easy to fall back into fantasy. To hold yourself accountable, you must tell your friends and family about your goals. Once other people find out, you will likely try harder not to disappoint them.
You can ask a friend or family member to make you take responsibility. This person should visit you periodically to see how much progress you have made
Step 4. See a doctor or therapist for help
If you can't avoid fantasizing, you can see a doctor or therapist for help. These professionals can help you understand the underlying causes of your fantasies or identify any medical conditions that may increase their recurrence.
- If you feel unable to kick this habit or feel that excess fantasy is taking over your life, you are probably suffering from excessive daydreaming.
- If your fantasies help you cope with abuse or trauma, professional therapy can offer you healthier coping strategies.
Advice
- You should be patient with yourself and try to give yourself time to stop fantasizing.
- Avoid movies and television, and do other activities (focused on reality) like going outside.