Many people experience the feeling that one life is not enough. Many try to add intrigue to their lives by searching for secret romances or alternative interests. If you hope to dabble in the art of living a double life, there are several steps you can take to keep your second "life" secret. However, you should always make sure that living a double life does not put you at risk of hurting other people or ending up breaking the law.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Keeping Your Second Life Secret
Step 1. Be discreet
Whatever your second life entails, don't talk about anything that relates to it with people you don't want them to know. If you've made a lot of money betting on the Wolverines all year long and your boss tells you that he has bet his opponents in next week's game, even here, bite your tongue.
While it may be tempting to try to talk about aspects of your double life, it is simply best not to
Step 2. Be more professional at work
You know that you should not bring your personal problems to work. However, if you hide some secrets from your personal life, you may want to do more than just fulfill your basic responsibilities at work. Make sure no one at work suspects you are leading a double life by arriving early, meeting your goals, and maintaining cooperative relationships with colleagues.
If your secret life intrudes into your work day (perhaps a call from your partner, Agent Mittens), don't let the interruption affect your work rate. Go for a walk when you have a free minute and resolve any issues that arise outside of the office
Step 3. Be cautious when speaking
Thoughts about second life are likely to arise during conversations in normal life. Do not externalize these thoughts, even if you think you are not going to give away any secrets. Think carefully about any statement that relates to the double life asking yourself "Could this reveal anything?"
For example, if John Doe mentions that he wants to see this or that movie this weekend and you have already seen it, perhaps while hallucinating with mushrooms alone or with a partner that you prefer to keep a secret, do not say something like “You have to Seeing it, it's great!”, as it may ask you when you saw it or with whom, which will put you in a situation where you have to lie or admit that you are living a second life
Step 4. Resolve conflicts quickly
One of the quickest ways you can be caught living a double life is by letting a conflict from one of your lives spill over into the other. If you fight someone important in one of your lives, try to resolve any sources of tension as soon as you can. Because people often act irrationally when upset, letting conflict linger can lead to emotions running wild and secret lives exposed.
- For example, an occasional romantic friend from second life, Agent Mittens, is upset that you made out with Sterling Silver at the last meeting. Don't let Agent Mittens think anything. Tell him how you feel and that you prefer to interact with others in the environments in which you spend time together.
- Simply put: when problems arise, solve them directly. Unresolved problems are the most likely reason people in the second life will intrude on the first and expose your secrets.
Method 2 of 3: Browse Social Media
Step 1. Keep different lives on different platforms
Perhaps you like a particularly risky type of content on the Internet. For example, artistic things. Either way, there are many things you can do online that you may want to keep secret. Create a completely separate social media account to handle those interests.
- For example, don't say anything about which Guys Gone Wild cameraman you think is the deepest on Facebook, not even in a private message to a friend who shares those interests. Instead, create a Reddit account where you can find a group with similar interests, and keep your views on mustaches, men's bows, and felt hats limited to this domain.
- Choose a username that you don't use on any other platform for second life online profiling.
Step 2. Create an email address that is only for the secret life
Create an email account on a different hosting website than your other account. For example, don't just create another Gmail account for convenience, just do it the old-fashioned way and create a Yahoo! account. The particular domain doesn't matter, as long as you only have one account there.
Step 3. Disconnect as if your life depended on it
Especially after engaging in double life activities on social media, be sure to log out. Get in the habit of logging out of all your accounts, just to make sure you log out when it's really necessary. If possible, adjust your account settings to automatically log out in case you forget to do so.
Step 4. Create two accounts on the same platform
It may be too tempting not to use Instagram in your two lives. Fortunately, you can make multiple accounts on most social media platforms. You may have to use different emails to do this, but that can help you keep track of which account you connect to.
Step 5. Stay completely offline
If possible, maintain a completely disconnected double life. This may be the best way to ensure that you are never discovered. Simply put, living a double life in the real world, where it's so much easier to erase your tracks, can be so much easier.
Method 3 of 3: Weigh the Risks of Having an Affair
Step 1. Recognize that adventures are common
70% of men and 50% of women have an affair at some point in their marriage. This indicates that the desire to live a double life, especially in the romantic aspect, is very common. However, having an affair can be incredibly painful, not just for your partner, but for other members of your family and even yourself.
- Before you go on an affair, think about the potential negative effects that doing so can have on the people you love.
- Remember that there are alternatives to having an affair behind your partner's back.
Step 2. Talk to your partner about the possibility of having an open relationship
Tell your partner that you are interested in having another sexual or romantic life outside of your relationship. It is true that this can lessen the excitement of having an affair, since part of the appeal is the emotional aspect of doing something you should not do. However, cheating on someone is disrespectful, manipulative, and hurtful. You will also likely regret doing it. To avoid this, talk to your partner about your desire to live a double romantic life.
- Say something like, “I've been thinking about the possibility of dating other people. I love you and I don't want to hurt you, but I am often tempted to be with other people. How about we talk about the possibility of having an open relationship? "
- If your partner is receptive to the idea, be sure to discuss the boundaries of appropriate and inappropriate behaviors. Once these limits are set, you can start living a double romantic life.
- The ability to keep the details of your extramarital encounters secret can add to the intrigue. That is, as long as your partner agrees with the fact that you have romantic or sexual encounters without their knowledge.
Step 3. Know when to quit
If you find yourself in a situation where you put yourself or others in danger, it may be time to correct your behavior. If you are involved in various adventures without your partner knowing, you need to reset your perspective on life. You may be able to do it on your own by reminding yourself that your actions can affect other people's lives.
- If you wake up with regrets about what you did the night before, reflect on the reasons why you feel bad. This can help you reevaluate some behaviors and begin to find a healthy balance between your interests.
- If you start to experience a problem with addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, or anything else, don't hesitate to seek help. Specifically, there are likely to be support groups for people fighting whatever it is that you fight.
Step 4. Go to a psychologist
Psychologists are trained to help you deal with negative behaviors or emotions before they have dangerous or harmful consequences. Often times, people are not willing to receive help until they are forced to do so by circumstances. Avoid any negative behavior by talking to someone who can help you control the behavior. Although the double life seems to have taken hold of itself, you have the power to control the future course of action.