Everyone is afraid of rejection, but you have to take the risk of being rejected from time to time to get what you want. Read this article to learn how to ask someone out without losing your confidence and self-esteem.
Part 1 of 3: Make an Action Plan
Step 1. Find out if the person in question is already in a relationship
This will save you a lot of embarrassment and unnecessary effort.
Don't ask someone out if you are in a relationship. In addition to being practically guaranteed that you will not accept, it will be inappropriate, it will not be fair to your partner, and it will negatively reflect your moral character
Step 2. Be confident, but prepare for possible rejection
Decide in advance what you are going to do or say if the person rejects you. This is particularly important if you want to ask one of your friends out, as it will reduce the chances of damaging the friendship relationship.
- Being prepared for rejection will help you not appear physically defeated in front of that person if they answer in the negative.
- While you should prepare for the possibility of being rejected, don't let it affect your self-confidence. Rather, reinforce it by accepting that being rejected is not the end of the world.
Step 3. Find out what he likes, if you can
This will help you come up with a good date idea. If she loves music, find out what kind and invite her to a concert. If she likes movies, invite her to the movies, and so on.
Step 4. Decide how you want to ask her out
If you're too shy to do it in person, then consider texting, Facebook, or email.
- Texting is a good option if you're too embarrassed to ask her in person. This way, you can at least hide your disappointment from him.
- If you just met that person and you don't have their number, you will have to invite them in person, but don't worry! This method is romantic and can be very rewarding if you accept.
Part 2 of 3: Asking Out Someone You Already Know
Step 1. Strike up a conversation
Striking up a casual conversation first will help make the invitation easier and take away some of the nervousness you may have.
- Send him a friendly message, for example, "Hi, how's it going?" If you're asking her out in person, walk up to her and say hello. Make sure to smile and make eye contact, as this will show your interest.
- Instead of asking the question right away, first ask what he's going to do the next day, the next week, and so on. This will help you transition to the main question and make the conversation flow more naturally.
Step 2. Ask him if he would like to go out with you
Suggest an activity that you think might interest him, based on what you know about the person. If you can't think of anything, here are some ideas:
- Ask him if he would like to have a coffee or a drink with you.
- Ask him if he would like to have dinner or lunch with you.
- Ask him if he would like to go to a party or dance with you.
- Ask if she'd like to have ice cream or frozen yogurt with you.
Step 3. Tell him that you are not resentful if he does not accept
This will help take away any discomfort in the future, especially if you've just asked out a close friend that you plan to continue seeing regularly. More importantly, it will show her that you have the confidence in yourself and the maturity to deal with minor rejection.
Part 3 of 3: Asking Out Someone You Just Met or Want to Meet
Step 1. Look the person in the eye and smile at them
This will show her that you are interested and give her a chance to return the gesture, which will show you that she is interested as well.
If he looks away or doesn't smile back, he might not be interested in you. However, it could also mean that she's too shy to reciprocate, so don't give up just yet
Step 2. Approach that person and introduce yourself, if you haven't already
Make sure you are confident, even if you are shaking inside. First impressions are very important and self-confidence is an attractive trait in both men and women.
Step 3. Strike up a casual conversation
You can start with a compliment, a conversation about what's going on at the venue, or a question. If you can't think of what to say, try the following:
- Ask him the time.
- Ask him where he is from.
- Ask him what he reads.
- Compliment her on her clothes.
- Talk about the music of the place or whatever else is going on around you.
Step 4. Ask her out
Once the conversation has started, tell her that you find her interesting and that you would like to get to know her more.
- Suggest having coffee, lunch, dinner, etc. These are very basic low-commitment dating ideas, in case you don't hit the jackpot.
- Avoid inviting her to a first outing to the movies, because they won't have the opportunity to get to know each other well.
Step 5. Be diplomatic if he rejects you
If he declines your invitation, smile at him and say, for example, “Well, it was worth a try. Nice to meet you,”and then leave her alone. Don't keep harassing her once she's given her answer and don't ever try to persuade her to go out with you. Otherwise, you will appear desperate and make her uncomfortable.
- Ask a friend to help you.
- Learn to take the hints. Some people are too nice to refuse something outright and will say that they are busy and can't on that date instead. If the person in question claims to be busy but is not trying to schedule another date, they are probably not interested in you.
- Try to stay calm and compliment her, but do not hit her or compliment her incessantly, or it will be too obvious that you are flirting with her.
- If she rejects you, it could be because she isn't ready to date yet or doesn't have permission to date someone. Don't conclude that they have no interest in you.
- Try to look great when asking someone out. In addition to giving you the best chance of getting a date, it will help you feel more confident, which will be reflected in your behavior.
- Dress well and stay calm. Don't cry if he declines your invitation.
- Try to invite that person when they are alone, or they may feel pressured to give a certain response, especially if they are with friends.