Food poisoning can happen at any time, making it a perfect disease to fake if you need to get out of work or school. Symptoms are relatively easy to mimic, including nausea, vomiting, and stomach pain. You will soon enjoy a day off, as long as you prepare the situation, fake the illness correctly and provide the tests when necessary.
Part 1 of 3: Prepare the situation
Step 1. Talk about stomach problems
If you have had stomach problems in the past or have a weak stomach, this will make it more credible when you indicate food poisoning. Don't focus too much on it, as it can be somewhat suspicious, but a week before you indicate that you are sick, you could mention once or twice that your stomach is sensitive and has given you problems in the past.
- If you plan to use food from a bad restaurant as an excuse for illness, you might mention that you have had stomach problems with this type of food in the past.
- As an example, if you plan to “get sick” on Mexican food, in the past week you could say “I love Mexican food, but it always upsets my stomach”.
Step 2. Make up a risky dinner
You don't have to go out to eat, but if you tell your classmates or coworkers, or your boss that you are going to eat somewhere that could cause food poisoning, this will make it more believable when it occurs. There are some foods (such as those in Mexican, Indian and Chinese cuisine) that have a reputation for causing stomach problems. You could use one of these foods to make your condition believable.
- You should be careful when choosing a restaurant if you are not going to eat there. If someone you know is at the restaurant at the same time you specify, this could be detrimental to your story.
- A safer option might be to say that you ate a bad meal at a private dinner, such as one with your family or a family gathering. You can give credence to this claim by complaining that one of your family members is a lousy cook.
Step 3. Use a possible food as the cause
Some types of food are more likely to give you food poisoning. The most common are poultry, beef, fish, and eggs. Food made with raw eggs (such as homemade brownies or cakes) are also possible causes. By mentioning that you are sick, you could say that you have eaten one of these foods.
- To make your story more compelling, you could say something like, “I ate some fish the night before and I think it gave me food poisoning. The taste seemed strange and I only ate half, but my stomach is killing me! "
- Don't be too dramatic when describing the food you've eaten. If you talk about her like she's been rotten, this could be suspicious.
- You could keep a consistent story by choosing a specific dish that has made you sick. For example, you could choose stuffed buns or a pork burrito as the culprit for your condition.
Step 4. Tell everyone about your illness
If you tell your friends and family that you are not feeling well through a Facebook post or tweet, people will be more likely to believe that you have suffered from food poisoning. For example, you could say something like, “I'm going to be a little unwell for a day or two. I suffered from food poisoning the night before."
You could also tell about your illness by calling a classmate or coworker close to you, pointing out that you've had food poisoning, and asking if they can catch you up when you get back
Step 5. Plan activities at home
If you call to report a food poisoning and someone sees you being active outside the home, this could get you in trouble. You'll have a much lower chance of getting caught if you chill out at home. Restock your supplies (like food and drinks) the day before you get sick, so you don't run the risk of running into someone who thinks you're sick.
- You could plan an all-day “sick” movie marathon, catch up on chores around the house, read a book, or call old friends and family to see how they're doing.
- Be careful with your social media posts when you pretend to be sick. If you post something on Facebook or Twitter that gives the impression that you are okay, you may not be able to keep your story.
Part 2 of 3: Faking Food Poisoning
Step 1. Focus on symptoms that are difficult to verify
Stomach pain and nausea will be the easiest ailments to fake and the hardest to confirm. Food poisoning often causes cramps and throbbing stomach pain, so you may need to use these terms to describe your symptoms.
This disease often causes dehydration and dizziness. To express these symptoms, you could say something like "My mouth is very dry" and "I get dizzy every time I stop."
Step 2. Be dramatic
Food poisoning is often a very unpleasant illness, so you can dramatically grab or hug your stomach and say you are in pain. You can indicate the presence of nausea with a simple comment, such as "All morning I felt like I was going to vomit." Do not eat if you indicate nausea, as most people will not be able to eat with an upset stomach.
- Try not to overreact, especially if you are young and trying to convince your parents. If you act like you're in a lot of pain, they might take you to the doctor.
- If you have to convince your parents that you are sick and have enough time, you can do some fake vomiting to convince them that you are nauseous.
Step 3. Make a short call to say you are sick
When we are sick, the last thing we want to do is have a casual chat on the phone. Make a short, direct call. Talk briefly with the person to whom you have to notify your illness and tell them what you have eaten, how you feel and that today you will not be able to go to work or school.
You may have to change your voice a bit during the call. Use a weak, exhausted tone, or sounds like you have mild discomfort
Step 4. Go back to work feeling bad
Food poisoning usually persists; Therefore, it is best to return to work looking as if you are still feeling its effects. Don't exert yourself and avoid casual chatting. If someone asks you to do something special, tell them that you still feel a little bad after you have overcome food poisoning and that you will not be able to help them.
Part 3 of 3: Provide Evidence
Step 1. Get a doctor's note
Many doctors will give you one for something similar to a Sabbath even if you are not sick. However, this does not always happen, and if you are not sure if it will give you one for your fake condition, you may have to try other measures to provide evidence.
Some schools or workplaces require an official note from a doctor to justify a day off. Check your student or employee handbook to see if you will need one
Step 2. Print a fake doctor's note
There are online resources that provide fake doctor's notes for people who want to be absent pretending they are sick. You will need to be careful when doing so. If you are caught, this could have serious consequences.
There are 3 main things to look for when looking for a fake doctor's note. The service should provide free grade samples, reasonable prices, and a verification service so that the grade looks real in case the teacher or your boss calls
Step 3. Find an ally
If you have a trusted friend or parent, you can use that as additional evidence that you are sick. Have your friend or parent call or talk to your teacher or boss to tell them that you've been feeling bad after your last meal.
If you are going to include other people in this plan, you will need to verify that they all have the same story. For example, you could have your father or friend specifically mention that you felt bad after eating a burrito
- Don't try to fake food poisoning with something your parents or siblings have also eaten. They will be suspicious if you've gotten sick, but they won't.
- Don't do it often, as your parents are likely to be suspicious.