How to text your girlfriend: 15 steps

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How to text your girlfriend: 15 steps
How to text your girlfriend: 15 steps

What should you say? In what way should you flirt? What should you do if they don't answer you right away? You may have a hard time learning how to text the girl you are in a relationship with. However, you can learn how to start better conversations, stay fluent, and achieve excellent messaging skills.


Part 1 of 3: Start a conversation

Text Your Girlfriend Step 1
Text Your Girlfriend Step 1

Step 1. Start with something specific

If you are going to start a conversation with a girl through messages, do not do it with a "hello", a "how are you" or the emoticon of the face giving a kiss. It is essential that you give him something interesting and complicated to respond to, or else he will quickly get bored, and so will you. It always starts with a comment, a question, or an observation.

  • “Do you sell bus tickets to Acapulco in this city? Being at home watching the dog lick its paws bores me. I am planning to escape. How about?".
  • “For whoever said I'm not resourceful, I just discovered a way to make a sandwich with fries and rice, which will be a hit on Saturday. Can you do better?
  • “The coach keeps saying to take the bronze hoop and I can't stop thinking about Frodo. YOU WILL NOT PASS. So it occurred to me to see The Lord of the Rings one night, what do you think?
Text Your Girlfriend Step 2
Text Your Girlfriend Step 2

Step 2. Start with something timely

What are you doing at that moment? If you want a response and you want to have a real conversation, it is better to talk about a relevant topic at the moment, rather than saying something that you can talk about at any time. It is useless to say, "Hi, how are you?"

  • “Math homework is killing me. I do not know if I will finish it. How far have you come? Can you help me with question number 5?
  • “Practice is over. I'm sure my mom forgot to pick me up. It seems that now I live in the parking lot.
  • "Quick, check channel 5. They're interviewing that girl from our English class and she looks absolutely ridiculous."
Text Your Girlfriend Step 3
Text Your Girlfriend Step 3

Step 3. Say something cute

We recommend sending her a bit flirty messages. You should not overdo it, but if you learn to write something related to how you feel about her, it will always be an added advantage.

  • “I'm passing through the park and remembering the moment when we kissed on the swings. Miss you".
  • “I just saw a pair of ducks walking. THEY ARE NOT AS CUTE AS US:)”.
  • “On Saturday I will be unoccupied. I can spend all day with you. What can we do?".
Text Your Girlfriend Step 4
Text Your Girlfriend Step 4

Step 4. Ask open questions

A great tactic of starting message conversations is asking questions. However, you should not ask questions that can be answered with a single word, particularly whether this word can be "yes" or "no." Instead, you will persuade her to talk if you ask more complicated questions that require her to think a little more, and give you more to answer.

  • Don't ask, "What are you doing?" Instead, ask, "What do you think of this?"
  • Don't ask, "Did you have fun at your practice?" or "How have you been in school?" Rather, ask him: "What do you think of the test they took today?" or "What was the worst part of the practice?"
  • Don't ask him: "Do you like Italian food?" ask him: "What do you think of Italian food?"
  • Don't question her or ask inappropriate questions.
Text Your Girlfriend Step 5
Text Your Girlfriend Step 5

Step 5. Send him a link or an image

You shouldn't always start a texting conversation by typing words. If you find a funny image, take a quick photo and send it to your girlfriend by writing something funny or ask her to comment on it, that will start a conversation.

  • If you see something strange, like a pigeon putting its head in a box of Chinese food, take a photo of it and send it to him by writing: “The only thing I can think of is that he is making a living. Does it seem strange to you that I feel jealous of that boy?
  • If you just read something funny, like Buzzfeed's list of dog photos or a funny article from a satirical news page, send it to him in a message and tell him what you found funny. Then write to him about it after he has read it.
  • Be careful when messaging her images. Never send nude photos to a girl if she hasn't asked. Please do not submit anything inappropriate.

Part 2 of 3: Knowing what to say

Text Your Girlfriend Step 6
Text Your Girlfriend Step 6

Step 1. Write him something he can respond to

Conversations are like plants, if you don't water them, they wither and die. You must write something to him that he can respond to in a conversation, otherwise the conversation will come to an end. You should respond to what they say without using boring one-word responses. This will ensure you keep the conversation going.

  • If he asks you: "What are you doing?", Do not say: "Nothing" or "Relaxing." Be specific and give him the casual details: “I'm giving my dad a hand to check out the strange auto parts that have accumulated over 10 years in the garage. On the block we are known as the Indiana Jones of cars. And you what about?".
  • If he says something funny to you, you can respond with a quick "ha" or "haha" if you must. However, it is much better to respond to what you have said. If he sends you a very funny photo of a bulldog on a waterslide, laugh, but then say: "Is that how you feel?", "That dog is my spirit animal" or "Suddenly, I feel so close to you".
Text Your Girlfriend Step 7
Text Your Girlfriend Step 7

Step 2. Respond to what they tell you

Try to respond specifically to start the conversation again, even if he doesn't ask you a direct question or doesn't say anything interesting. Follow the thread of the conversation to keep it comfortable and keep going. Let her talk about her and "hear her" appropriately when conversing via text messages.

  • If he says to you: "I was so bored at school today," don't drop the topic, follow the thread of the conversation. Say: "What was the most boring thing?" or "But what is the most EXCITING thing that has happened on your boring day?" Ask him questions to keep him talking.
  • If he gives you very closed answers, like "haha" or something similar, it is probably better to end the conversation, rather than do it all on your own. She may be distracted or not in the mood for conversation at the moment. Don't bother, talk to him later.
Text Your Girlfriend Step 8
Text Your Girlfriend Step 8

Step 3. Tease her to flirt

Some studies show that we are attracted to people who joke with us in subtle ways, as this adds some electrifying energy to the conversation. If you want to add a bit of tension to your texting conversations, you can make your messages a little more passionate by teasing her just a little bit, but you have to be nice.

If he uploads a lot of selfies to Facebook, write to him: “I'm looking at all your selfies and I'm going to guess what you were thinking about each one. In the first one, you thought: 'This mirror is SO DIRTY.'

Text Your Girlfriend Step 9
Text Your Girlfriend Step 9

Step 4. Keep it casual

Messages are great for quick, witty, and casual chats, not deep conversations about your relationship. If you don't know what to talk about, add humor to the conversation and focus on silly or funny topics. Talk about any of the following topics:

  • Ridiculous things you have seen or read on the Internet.
  • Silly things you've heard someone else say.
  • Ironic things that have occurred to you.
  • Your siblings, your pets or your family.
  • Fun plans for the future or a date you recently had.

Part 3 of 3: Write Good Messages

Text Your Girlfriend Step 10
Text Your Girlfriend Step 10

Step 1. Make sure the time is right to send messages

You may be in the mood for a chat, but your girlfriend might be in class, busy with a family event, or working in the library. Just as you would not bother someone in person if they were doing any of these tasks, we recommend that you do not write to your girlfriend when she is busy.

Don't text late at night, when you're busy, or at a time when you think your girlfriend might be driving. If he writes to you, do not reply or tell him that you will do it later

Text Your Girlfriend Step 11
Text Your Girlfriend Step 11

Step 2. Write whole words

You don't have to write as if you were in a writing class, but it is essential that you make sure you write the words (in particular) correctly. So your girlfriend can read them. Take some time to write complete sentences whenever you can and keep your messages packed with content so your girlfriend won't have to go through 50 messages to understand what you are saying.

You probably don't mind, but many people find it unattractive that you write words like “xq” and “100pre” too often

Text Your Girlfriend Step 12
Text Your Girlfriend Step 12

Step 3. Before writing more, wait for them to respond to you

Waiting for the “…” bubble when writing a message can make you desperate, but it's essential that you give your girlfriend a chance to reply before sending her any more messages. This may seem aggressive and impatient. Don't think that she will always be by her phone, ready to answer.

  • Don't send too many messages. Make sure the ratio is roughly 1: 1. Reserve certain things for in-person interactions.
  • Stop messaging him if he doesn't reply to them or if he doesn't give you interesting responses. Never send angry messages to her or attack her by this means.
Text Your Girlfriend Step 13
Text Your Girlfriend Step 13

Step 4. Reply to their messages when you receive them

If he writes you something or asks you a question, answer if you have something to say. It is not advisable to "play tough" when texting a girl. Respond as soon as you notice that he has written to you and try to start a conversation.

You should answer him even if he asks you a question and you don't have an answer at the time. If they ask you, “Are we going out to dinner on Friday?” Reply, “Sounds like fun! But let me check my schedule to see if I'm free. I'll answer you later”. Don't keep her waiting

Text Your Girlfriend Step 14
Text Your Girlfriend Step 14

Step 5. Use an emoticon occasionally so your intentions are clear

Sometimes it can be difficult to interpret a message and it can even seem very aggressive or cruel if only words are used. Most phones have a variety of emoticons that you can use to color your messages, which will make them a little easier to read.

  • If you write: "What are you doing?" or "Where are you?" By messages, you could give the impression of being needy. However a "Still not there?:)”Is much friendlier.
  • Emoticons can be fun, but don't use them to express too much. If your girlfriend asks what you are doing and you send her the demon and poop emoticons at the same time, it will be very strange.
Text Your Girlfriend Step 15
Text Your Girlfriend Step 15

Step 6. End the conversation appropriately

All conversations are fading. Silence can be comfortably shared in person, but in the case of messages, the conversation has to end. If the conversation seems to fade, it can be strange, so we recommend taking care of ending it appropriately.

If you've made her laugh, tell her you have to go and make plans to talk later: “Well, I have to go to dinner. Shall we talk later? Leave her wanting to talk more


  • Obviously, you must be nice to her.
  • Compliment her, but at the right time. Girls generally like to be complimented as it makes them feel good about themselves.


  • Don't talk about other girls. This will make her feel like she's not important to you!
  • Don't say something that could cause them to argue.
  • Try not to talk about other people. She likely wants to focus only on their relationship.

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