Most people have heard the saying "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything." While some people say nice things naturally, others find it more difficult to praise or flatter others. If this is your case, read this list of suggestions. You will learn ways to give honest feedback that makes a person feel great about themselves. With a little practice, you will feel safe saying nice things to others in a genuine way.
Method 1 of 10: Find the good side of people or situations
Step 1. Pay attention to the positives instead of focusing on the negatives
This is the foundation of positive parenting techniques, for example, which argue that good behavior can be reinforced by noticing and appreciating it.
For example, instead of waiting until someone makes a mistake before saying something, look for something positive. Perhaps your child has been better behaved when taking him to the store, or perhaps a friend who is always late has been on time for dinner
Method 2 of 10: Make your compliments clear and detailed
Step 1. Your comment will feel more personal and you will seem more sincere
Make the pleasant thought meaningful by adapting it to the person you are praising. Instead of saying, "You look good today," say something like, "I really like the way that color looks on you."
To praise a behavior, offer a specific example. If you have a child, instead of saying, "Good job at school," say, "I really like how well you played with the children in your class."
Method 3 of 10: Encourage someone who has made you feel supported
Step 1. Say thank you and let her know that you care
It's easy to focus on praise for specific actions, but don't forget that you can just say thank you. Create a meaningful connection by also sharing your feelings.
For example, say to a family member "Thank you for always being with me. I know that you have always supported me and that is very helpful" or tell a co-worker "Thank you for staying with me on this project. I know that working with me can be difficult. sometimes, but it's been nice to have your help. "
Method 4 of 10: Praise someone, even if you don't know them
Step 1. Take some time to point out something nice about a stranger
It doesn't have to be a very detailed compliment, just be genuine. Make eye contact and smile. Then say something nice about the person's appearance or something they did. Here are some examples to get you started:
- "Giving that woman the seat was a very kind gesture of you."
- "Those earrings look amazing with your hair color."
- "You have the best freckles!"
- "Thank you for taking care of my car. You saved my life!"
Method 5 of 10: Recognize something good your partner does
Step 1. Deepen the relationship by highlighting the things you like about your partner
If you're in a relationship, it's easy to take for granted that he knows that he cares about you. Make her day by pointing out something you love about her. Consider these examples:
- "You have great skills for practical projects."
- "I know you're outgoing and I'm a bit more reserved. I love how we compensate!"
- "Have you noticed how patient you have become?"
Method 6 of 10: Praise a person's qualities, not just their looks
Step 1. Saying something nice about someone's physique can be tricky
The person may have complexes with their body or it may not be appropriate depending on the context. Instead of pointing out physical characteristics, highlight something cool they've done.
- For example, avoid the generic compliment "You look amazing!" Instead, try "You showed a lot of confidence in the meeting. Great job keeping everyone interested!"
- If you really want to point out that someone looks great, be specific and kind. Instead of saying, "You look amazing! Have you lost weight?" Say something like, "I like the way those colors look on you. It's a great outfit."
Method 7 of 10: Mention how the person makes you feel
Step 1. Share what impresses, makes you proud or happy about the person
Make a deeper connection by telling him how something he said or did made you feel. For example, instead of saying "Great job at the meeting," say, "Thank you for making everyone listen to my ideas at the meeting. You have made me feel very supported."
- If you find it difficult to share your feelings, keep things simple. Just letting him know that you value him is a lot.
- Don't say anything you don't believe. People can usually detect when someone is insincere, and you could damage the relationship if you are not genuine.
Method 8 of 10: Praise a person's efforts, not just the results
Step 1. Highlight the work someone else has done so they know you value it
Whether you're talking to teammates or your romantic partner, it's important that you let this person know how much you value their effort. Maybe you've taken a difficult class, worked hard on a project, or tried to improve a relationship. Say something nice about the process and not just the result.
- For example, you can say, "I am very impressed that you have reached out to your sister. I know it is difficult to talk to her, but you have made a great effort."
- If you have children, you can try it with them. They may not win the game or event, but they will love to hear how good it has been for them to try.
Method 9 of 10: Ask a question to get the person to accept the compliment
Step 1. Don't let the person avoid your nice words
Sometimes people have a hard time accepting praise. Asking a question after saying something nice will help them accept and respond to keep the conversation going.
For example, if you have a child, you can say "How did you know that your brother wanted you to share your toys?" or to your coworker "Do you have any suggestions on how I could be a more effective speaker?"
Method 10 of 10: Avoid adding criticism to a compliment
Step 1. Resist the urge to give suggestions or add a qualifier to your compliment
Nobody values getting nice feedback that includes criticism. For example, don't say "Your hair looks better today than it did yesterday" or "You seemed very confident at the meeting, but I think you talked too much."
Think about what makes the person feel good about themselves. If your comment can hurt their feelings, don't say it
- Leave a nice comment on someone's media page instead of scrolling through it. It's easy to like or love someone's content, but if you want to make a bigger impact, say something nice.
- Say something nice as soon as you think about it. If you wait and say it later, it might not sound so genuine.
- Be more genuine by looking the person in the eye. Some studies show that people are more likely to believe the words of someone who makes direct eye contact.