People who are shy by nature or those with social anxiety can have great difficulty talking to others. As much as you can speak in a social context, shyness can make it difficult to project your voice so that others can hear you. Learn to feel more confident, project your voice, and relieve stress to feel more comfortable speaking loud and clear.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Project your voice
Step 1. Take a posture that encourages self-confidence
If you are a shy person, a good idea is to stand or sit in a posture that promotes self-confidence to increase your self-esteem. Some positions can even help you improve your voice projection, but the ideal is to choose whatever option (sitting or standing) that makes you feel comfortable and safe.
- If you choose to stand, place one foot slightly in front of the other and support your body weight on the back foot. Keep your neck straight, your head high, your shoulders back, and your torso slightly bent forward.
- If you choose to sit, keep your back straight and lean forward a bit. Rest your elbows and forearms on the table, and look directly at the person you want to talk to.
Step 2. Breathe in such a way that you can improve your voice projection
If you are not used to doing this, a good idea is to focus on your breath. By regulating it correctly and maintaining an upright posture, you can open your chest so that it is easier for you to emit a more dominant and strong voice.
- Breathe in quickly and quietly, and breathe out slowly just before you start speaking.
- As you inhale, relax your abdominal area. Keep your shoulders and chest as still as possible.
- Pause at the end of the sentence, just before you lose your breath. Then inhale to make the next phrase sound more natural.
Step 3. Start speaking at a volume that is comfortable for you
If the idea of speaking loud and loud makes you feel very nervous, it may be easier to start speaking in a more comfortable tone. Spend some time talking to the volume that makes you feel good, and then make an effort to increase it gradually.
- Remember that it is better to speak low and soft than not to speak at all.
- Don't be too quick to start raising your voice. The important thing is that you feel comfortable while you “prepare”. Then make an effort to speak louder.
Step 4. Slow down your speech
Many people talk fast when they feel nervous or anxious. However, this speed can impair the clarity of your words. Also, you could end up getting stuck or losing your train of thought.
- Record yourself and practice speaking louder to hear the speed and clarity of your speech.
- You can also ask a friend to help you project your voice better. He could tell you if you need to change the volume, pitch, or speed.
Step 5. Listen to others
If you want to be part of a conversation, it is important that you be able to hear what other people are saying. Don't waste a lot of time planning what you would like to say, and focus on what others are saying.
- Make eye contact with the person speaking and pay attention to their words.
- React appropriately. Smile when someone says something funny, frown at something sad, and nod your head to show attention.
Step 6. Get involved in the conversation
Waiting for someone to invite you to be part of a conversation could take a long time. It may be difficult for you, but making a related comment is the only thing that will let others know that you are interested in participating.
- Don't interrupt others. Take advantage of the breaks to make a comment.
- Say something relevant and related to the topic at hand that contributes to what others are saying. For example, you can say "I agree with what Carlos said, but I also believe_______".
Step 7. Make an effort to regulate the volume
Controlling the volume of your voice can help you speak audibly and clearly. Try to be attentive to how your voice sounds, as well as being aware of what you are saying. You can also practice with a friend or with the help of a tape recorder.
- Instead of using a monotonous tone of voice, try to vary the tone, intensity and rhythm of the words.
- Start with a more neutral tone, then turn the volume up or down, if necessary.
- Pay attention to the volume. While it is important that you speak loudly so that others can hear you, be sure to adjust the volume so that you do not disturb anyone.
- Pause after saying something important, and speak the words slowly and clearly so that everyone can understand what you are saying.
Part 2 of 3: Coping with the physical symptoms of shyness and anxiety
Step 1. Drink water before speaking
Many people suffer from a dry mouth and a dry throat in moments of fear, which makes it difficult to speak properly. If you are a shy or anxious person, have a glass or bottle of water handy to drink before speaking.
Avoid caffeine and alcohol if you are nervous or anxious. Caffeine can stress you out even more, and alcohol can lead to dependency
Step 2. Reduce your stress level
Shyness and fear often create stress and suppress energy. In the event that you are too tense to speak loud and clear, a good idea is to relieve accumulated stress. Ask permission to go to the bathroom and use this time alone to stretch your body and move your muscles before returning to the conversation.
- Stretch your neck forward, backward, and to both sides.
- Stretch your mouth, opening it wide.
- Lean against a wall and stretch your hamstrings and then your adductors (groin) by spreading your legs and leaning to both sides.
- Stand about two feet from the wall and do five quick push-ups.
Step 3. Practice deep breathing exercises to control symptoms
Many people who suffer from extreme shyness, fear, or anxiety can experience unpleasant physical symptoms, such as a racing heart rate, shallow breathing, dizziness, and dread. Regardless of the physical symptoms, deep breathing will help you calm down and feel less anxious or fearful.
- Inhale slowly for the count of four. Breathe deeply using your diaphragm (under your ribs), rather than your chest.
- Hold the air in your diaphragm for four seconds.
- Exhale slowly to the count of four.
- Repeat several times until you feel your heart rate and breathing return to normal.
Part 3 of 3: Calm the Mind
Step 1. Challenge negative thoughts
If you are a shy or nervous person, you may experience negative scary thoughts during times of panic. These may seem very real, but it is possible to break that cycle of self-doubt and shyness by stepping back a bit and challenging those thoughts. Ask yourself the following questions:
- What are you afraid of? Is that fear realistic?
- Are your fears based on reality or are you fabricating or exaggerating them?
- What would be the worst result of all? Would it be that bad or could you deal with it and recover?
Step 2. Cultivate hopeful thoughts
Once you manage to break the cycle of insecure thoughts, a good idea is to replace them with something more positive and hopeful. Remember that you have the ability to change the way you think, which, in turn, can change the way you feel.
- Release shyness and nervousness by repeating "Shyness and fear are feelings. While they can make me feel bad, I can deal with my emotions until they pass."
- Try to think, "I am a smart, kind, and interesting person. I may be shy, but others are interested in hearing what I want to say."
- Remember that you have experienced shyness or nervousness in the past, and things have turned out well. Think of those situations in which you have been successful or have overcome your fears to empower yourself.
Step 3. Do something you enjoy before every social gathering
This will allow you to release endorphins and relieve stress and anxiety. If you know that you have to face a situation that involves social interactions and you want to speak louder to get out of your comfort zone, take a moment before to do something fun and relaxing.
You don't need a lot of time or a lot of effort to incorporate a moment of pleasure into your day. Even taking a short walk, listening to relaxing music, or reading an interesting book can help calm and relax the mind
Advice
- Remember to be confident, not arrogant.
- Trust and believe in yourself.
- Never cross your arms. Instead, place them on the hips or relaxed on the side of the body. People who cross their arms do not show much openness to dialogue, while open arms can indicate that you are willing to converse with others.
Warnings
- Don't make your first attempt with a large group of people, or with those who don't respect you. Practice with a small group of people with whom you feel comfortable.
- Talking too loud all the time or interrupting your interlocutors can be rude and unpleasant.