Telling the truth is usually much better than lying, but sometimes you have no choice but to do so. In some cases, it may be necessary to tell a white lie to avoid hurting someone's feelings or to prevent them from finding out about a surprise you are preparing. If lying is absolutely necessary, be aware that it may be difficult to make it sound convincing. You should think carefully about the details of the lie, be consistent and avoid body language that could give you away.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Preparing to Lie
Step 1. Think about the reasons why you need to lie
All people lie from time to time, but take a moment to consider whether it is actually worth lying in this case. It takes a lot more mental capacity to lie than it does to tell the truth, and you may get in trouble if you get caught.
- Maybe you have a good reason to lie, like trying to hide a surprise party from a friend. In this case, try not to feel bad about it because you are actually doing something nice!
- Never lie for no reason. If you lie for the fun of it or just to see if you can get away with it, sooner or later you are bound to get into trouble.
- If you want to tell a lie that is selfish or could hurt other people, consider doing the right thing and telling the truth.
Step 2. Plan the details of the story
The lie will be much more convincing if you take the time to think about what you will say and add some meaningful details. The story should include enough detail to make it look genuine, but not enough detail to make it look fabricated.
- The amount of detail that you will include in the lie should be similar to the amount that you would give if you were telling the truth. If you tend to talk a lot about everything, it may sound suspicious if the lie is short and to the point. On the contrary, if you are not usually very talkative, you could raise some suspicions if you embellish the story too much.
- Even if the basis of the lie is perfectly believable, the implausible details could give you away, so be as realistic as possible. For example, it would be more credible to tell a friend that you stood him up because your grandmother was not feeling well and you had to take her to the doctor than to tell her that she was kidnapped and you had to rescue her. In both cases, the essential idea is that you had to help your grandmother, but the details are very different.
- You will need to remember all the details, so don't overdo it. Write them down if necessary.
Step 3. Start with the truth
The easiest way to lie is to simply misrepresent the truth. This way, you can tell a story that is mostly true and include lots of supporting details that are mostly true, with just a little bit of falsehood combined.
The less prepared you are, the less lies you should add to the story. If you are caught off guard in a situation and you must lie, misrepresent the truth as lightly as possible to avoid being wrong
Step 4. Think about who will listen to the lie
Lies are often discovered because people tell different stories to different people. If these people ever make comparisons, the lie will be exposed, so be sure to make up a story that you can tell everyone.
- Keep in mind that the story could be released, so be prepared to continue telling it in the same way that you did the first time if someone asks you about it.
- Take into account what everyone who will hear the lie knows about you and the situation. Be careful about details that a person who might hear the lie knows to be false. For example, don't tell a friend that you lost the bracelet she loaned you while swimming in the lake if you have mutual friends who know you can't swim.
Step 5. Practice the story
The more details you include in the lie, the more time you will have to spend making sure you think about each one and remember the whole story. Try to review it out loud several times while you are alone to make sure you feel safe.
- Make sure you remember important details like names and dates. If you're wrong on these, the whole lie may start to unravel.
- Remember that it should not appear as if you are reading a script. Although it is recommended that you plan the details of the lie, avoid planning each of the words you will say. The lie will be much more convincing if you express yourself naturally and spontaneously.
Part 2 of 2: Be Convincing
Step 1. Tell the lie at the right time
Usually this will depend on the content of the lie. Think about whether you would bring it up if it were true.
- If the story is boring or uncomplicated, don't bring it up until asked. For example, if you plan to lie to a friend saying that you did not return her call because you had poor reception on your cell phone, you may not want to mention it first.
- If the story is exciting or terrible, you should probably tell it right away. Otherwise, it may seem that you are not as shocked by the situation as you should be. For example, if you plan to tell your friend that you didn't return her call because you had a big fight with your mom and you were too upset to talk to someone, tell her the next time you see her.
Step 2. Avoid looking nervous
Although research has shown that a nervous appearance does not necessarily indicate that you are lying, many people still believe that it is, so you should be careful and do your best to stay calm.
- Look directly at the person you are talking to and speak fluently.
- Remember to keep a natural smile on your face.
- Stay still and don't move around.
Step 3. Act on the situation
Depending on the lie, you may need to take some acting classes to express the right emotions. All people express their emotions in a different way, but try not to show yourself any more or less emotional about the situation than you would be if it were true.
- If you are concerned that you will not be able to express the correct emotions when you lie, you can change the lie to something less complicated.
- Avoid getting defensive if someone asks you to explain the story. Follow exactly the emotions that are suitable for the lie.
Step 4. Tell the lie
Use vocabulary like you would normally use and make the conversation flow as naturally as possible.
- Don't speak too fast or too slowly.
- If the situation warrants it, use phrases that invite comment to avoid reciting a monologue.
- Do the gestures that you normally would. Failure to do hand movements could indicate that you are thinking about what to say.
- Be prepared to say "I didn't realize" or "I don't remember" if you are asked a question and you don't know what else to say.
- Avoid filler words like "eh" or long pauses in conversation. This will make it appear that you are actively trying to think about what you want to say, which is a clear indication that you are lying. If you need a moment to remember a specific detail, move on to something else, but keep as natural a rhythm as possible in the story.
- Avoid saying the same thing over and over again, because it will seem very rehearsed.
Step 5. Change the subject at the right time
Don't make it sound like you want to change the subject as soon as possible. Give enough detail before transitioning to something else to continue the conversation.
Step 6. Back up the lie
If you have any evidence that can support the lie, even if it is very ambiguous, it could be of help in your case. Research has shown that people are more likely to believe statements that are accompanied by pictures, so if you find a way to make this work by lying, go for it.
- Do it in the most natural way possible. For example, if you have a photo, you can show it to your friend during the conversation, but without appearing to show it to her to show her that you are not lying.
- It can also help to have other people endorse the lie, as long as they know to stick to the details you have provided.
Step 7. Have a backup plan
As a precaution, it is recommended that you know what you will say if you are discovered. If you prepare an explanation that is good enough, you may be able to avoid getting into so much trouble.