Humans communicate their emotions through language, facial expressions, and body language. Language and culture can influence the way people express their emotions. Despite these differences, all human beings experience certain key emotions. Your ability to read the emotions in others and respond to them is known as emotional intelligence. By developing your emotional intelligence, you can improve awareness of emotions in both yourself and others.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Analyze the Emotions in Others
Step 1. Recognize positive and negative emotions
There are six universal human emotions: happiness, surprise, anger, fear, sadness, and revulsion. These are divided into two categories: positive emotions (happiness, surprise) and negative (anger, fear, sadness, revulsion). To identify them in others, you have to know what types of actions and behaviors they are associated with. For instance:
- Positive emotions reduce stress, improve mood, and increase our memory and awareness (for example: happiness, surprise, sympathy, kindness, love, courage, confidence, inspiration, relief, etc.).
- Negative emotions increase stress and allow us to recognize threats and deal with challenging situations. Examples of them are sadness, fear, anger, contempt, revulsion, etc.
- The two most important regions of the brain for expressing and understanding emotions are the tonsillar complex and the prefrontal cortex. Damage to any of these areas can affect a person's ability to read emotions.
Step 2. Focus on the eyes and mouth
In general, people express emotions through their eyes and mouth. The part of the face in which a person shows emotion is influenced by culture. For example, in Japan, people focus on the eyes, while in the US, people interpret emotions in the mouth. When reading emotions, look at the whole face, not just the eyes.
Stand far enough away from a person that you can see their face but still have a normal conversation. About 1.5 to 4 ft (45 cm to 1.2 m) is a good distance between the two
Step 3. Listen to the tone of voice
Besides facial expressions, tone of voice is the second most important way that people express emotions. People use their voice to show their emotions and to control them. However, some emotions are not conveyed through the voice. For example, people can easily identify a relaxed, stressed, bored, satisfied, and confident tone in the voice. Emotions that are weakly expressed through the voice include fear, sympathy, happiness, and sadness.
- Similar tones of voice can express different emotions. For example, a tense or stern voice is associated with anger and hostility as well as confidence and concern.
- A whispery or low tone of voice can be associated with a range of emotions. These include relaxation, satisfaction, intimacy, friendship, sadness, and boredom.
- A low, breathy voice (when the person breathes heavily while speaking) is associated with fear, shyness, and nervousness.
Step 4. Observe the general behavior
When you look at the person, does he exude a friendly atmosphere or is he more reserved? Emotions can be experienced subconsciously without your being aware of them. Using your best judgment and following your instincts can sometimes be the best way to read emotions.
- Recognize the emotions in others by observing your reaction. We often reflect the emotions of others in our facial expressions, tone of voice, and behavior.
- Emotions are contagious. The emotions of others affect us. Our mood and behavior change depending on how another person is feeling. That is why if someone smiles at you, you are likely to smile back.
Step 5. Evaluate the physical well-being of the other person
Emotions can influence health in both negative and positive ways. If a friend or family member is sick or tired all the time, they may be stressed or depressed.
- Physical symptoms of mental illness and depression include headaches or migraines, low energy, stomach problems, back pain, changes in eating habits, and alcohol or drug use.
- Mental and emotional symptoms of mental illness and depression include confusion, sudden and extreme mood swings, isolation from friends, inability to deal with daily problems, and increased anger and violence.
Step 6. Develop and improve your emotional intelligence
Teach yourself to recognize emotions in others by becoming more aware of them in yourself. The four branches of emotional intelligence are: (1) being able to perceive emotions in yourself and in others; (2) use emotions to promote thinking; (3) understand the importance of emotions; and (4) manage emotions. Here are some strategies to improve emotional intelligence:
- Drop the cell phone and walk away from the computer. Improve your social skills and your ability to read non-verbal cues by engaging in daily face-to-face communication.
- Don't distance yourself from uncomfortable or negative feelings in yourself and in others. These are important and necessary. If you feel sad or angry, stop and think about why you feel that way. Then try to counter this negative emotion with three positive emotions.
- Listen to your body. A knot in your stomach could be stress and a flutter in your heart could be attraction or excitement.
- Keep a journal or log of your thoughts and feelings. Write down what you do and how you feel several times a week. You can include other information, such as how much you slept the night before or what you had for breakfast.
- Ask a close friend or family member (someone you know and trust) to read your emotions. Sometimes others know us better than we do. Your answers can be surprising and insightful.
Method 2 of 3: Interpret Facial Expressions
Step 1. Take note of a person's facial expressions
The way we feel inside is expressed in our eyes and faces. Learning to recognize the association between facial expressions and certain types of emotions will greatly help your ability to read emotions.
Don't be fooled! People can manipulate their facial expressions to appear happy when they are upset or sad. The actors do it convincingly all the time. Look for other clues as to how they really feel. Observe their body language or tone of voice. Make eye contact: open, cold, "piercing" eyes suggest a different emotional state than a "warm" smile
Step 2. Recognize a genuine smile
A genuine smile uses more muscles than a fake or forced smile. The corners of the lips and cheeks should be raised. If, in addition, the muscles around the eyes tighten and form "crow's feet" (groups of wrinkles around the outer corners of the eyes), it is a good indicator that a smile is genuine.
Step 3. Distinguish sadness from happiness
This may seem obvious, but people try to control or cover their true emotions by smiling when they are sad. Genuine, spontaneous emotions are hard to fake. Sadness is associated with frowning (lowering the corners of the mouth). It is also associated with raising the inner ends of the eyebrows (near the nose). Other clues are loose, drooping eyelids that cover part of the eye.
Step 4. Acknowledge anger and revulsion
Anger and revulsion are often associated with each other and produce similar facial expressions. For example, we wrinkle our noses when we are repulsed and when we are angry or irritated.
- Anger and resentment can be directed at someone or caused by something. When we are angry, we move our eyebrows down, we purse our lips (we press them and we tuck the edges) and our eyes bulge.
- In contrast to anger, expressing revulsion, dislike or disdain towards someone or something is associated with lifting the upper lip and releasing the lower lip. We also lower our eyebrows but not as much as when we are angry.
Step 5. Acknowledge fear and surprise
Although fear is a negative emotion and surprise is considered a positive emotion, both activate the sympathetic nervous system and trigger a "fight or flight" reaction. When something unexpected happens, good or bad, it stimulates a part of the brain that is outside of our direct control. When this happens, we raise our eyebrows and eyelids so that our eyes are wide open.
- When we are afraid, we draw our eyebrows towards our nose, our pupils dilate (enlarge) to receive more light, and our mouths open. We also tense the muscles in the face, especially around the mouth and cheeks.
- When we are surprised, we tend to raise our eyebrows and lower our jaw. The mouth opens and the muscles around it relax and loosen.
Method 3 of 3: Read Emotions in Other Ways
Step 1. Look for non-verbal clues
In addition to facial expressions and tone of voice, human beings express emotions in other ways. While nonverbal clues can be misleading, learning to spot them can help you read emotions. Important non-verbal cues that convey emotion are body movements, posture, and eye contact. Make an effort to notice if the person appears lively and moving or is stiff and tense. Also watch for her to stand up straight and make eye contact or hunch her shoulders, wave her hands nervously, or cross her arms.
- Moving and standing upright show that the person is open and comfortable. However, too much movement (for example, waving your arms vigorously) along with a loud voice could mean that you are excited or angry.
- Hunched shoulders, a calm voice, and crossed arms are all signs that the person is uncomfortable or nervous. If she avoids eye contact with you, it could mean she's angry or feeling guilty.
- Keep in mind that culture, social situations, and individual personalities influence the way we express emotions through body language. In this sense, facial expressions are considered more universal and reliable. For example, Italians tend to wave their arms when speaking but this could be considered rude in Japan. On the other hand, making eye contact is a sign of respect in the US and Europe but could be considered rude or aggressive in some Asian and African cultures.
Step 2. Observe body movement and posture
Focusing on the whole body as well as the face is the best way to read and interpret emotions. Posture and body movements not only reflect emotions but also their intensity. There are degrees for positive and negative emotions. For example, positive emotions range from interested (low) to euphoric (high) and negative emotions range from sadness (low) to violent anger (high).
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Shoulders and torso: hunching your shoulders and leaning forward is associated with intense anger. In contrast, leaning back can be a sign of panic or fear. If the person stands up straight with their shoulders back and their head up, this is a sign that they are feeling confident. However, if you hunch your shoulders or slump forward, you seek compassion, are bored, or feel nervous.
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Arms and hands: If the person is sad, they are likely to put their arms at their sides and their hands in their pockets. If you feel irritated or upset, you can put one arm to the side or on the hip and gesture with the opposite hand (point the finger or keep the palm flat). If he feels indifferent or does not care about something, he will place his hands behind him.
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Legs and feet: If you shake your legs or tap your toes, the person may be anxious, upset, or in a hurry. However, some people naturally shake their legs while sitting without meaning.
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Step 3. Look for "fight or flight" signs
When something unexpected happens, good or bad, it stimulates a part of the brain that is outside of our direct control. This causes physical reactions, such as dilated pupils, rapid breathing, and increased sweating and heart rate. You can tell if a person is nervous, stressed, or anxious by looking for signs like sweaty palms or armpits, a flushed face, or shaky hands.
When men are upset or stressed, they tend to show signs of aggression, frustration, and anger. In contrast, women may become more talkative or seek social support. Depending on their personality, some men and women become more withdrawn and quiet when they experience negative emotions
Step 4. Ask him how he feels
Sometimes the best way to read emotions is to be direct. While the other person might lie and say it's okay when it's not, it never hurts to ask. You can also use her response to read between the lines by observing her tone of voice along with facial expressions and body language, and look for specific verbal clues that suggest how she is feeling inside. For example, if the person is bored or sad, they will speak slower and less frequently. If you are excited or upset, the speed and frequency of your voice will increase.
Try talking to her alone instead of in a group. You may be more open about your emotions if you are with a trusted friend or family member
Advice
- Try observing someone you know is happy, sad, excited, or experiencing some other emotion to see what those emotions actually look like. Then try to spot them in other people.
- Practice guessing how you think the people around you feel. If you think someone seems happy, confirm your speculation by asking if something good happened to them.
- Try to practice with your friends or family first before trying to read the emotions in others. Share your emotions with each other over lunch or dinner.
- Try asking the person whose emotions you want to read different questions. Start with casual, basic questions like "How are you?" or "What did you do yesterday?" Then move on to more personal questions like "How is (name of family member or friend)?" or "How is everything going with (your partner)?" Watch their reactions but stop if they become uncomfortable.
Warnings
- Be aware that the person may be hiding their emotions on purpose. This could be due to mental or emotional abuse or dealing with a difficult situation. Be a good friend by respecting her decision to keep her emotions to herself.
- If you are trying to read the emotions of a complete stranger, avoid staring at them or coming across as rude.
- Reading emotions is not an exact science. Be aware that people express their emotions in different ways and avoid jumping to conclusions about how someone really feels.
- Don't act like a know-it-all or tease the person about their emotions. Respect their privacy if they don't want to share them.