There are times when you may want to avoid an argument or conversation that could be uncomfortable or painful. Perhaps you have crossed paths with your ex or someone who talks for a long time. Perhaps the conversation is sensitive or leads to someone getting hurt. Regardless of the reason, you can avoid an unwanted conversation by avoiding the person entirely or by taking control of interactions and conversations with them.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Avoid the person
Step 1. Try to be alert
The best way to avoid someone and the conversation they want to have with you is to be aware of when they are or may be around. Try to be attentive to their schedules and your surroundings.
- Pay attention to the roads you take, the places you frequent, and the times you arrive and leave.
- In this way, you will know which places to avoid and at what times.
- Pay attention to your surroundings so you can see the person before they see you.
Step 2. Don't interact with her
In the case of seeing the person, do not give him the opportunity to start a conversation with you. If possible, leave before I see you. If you can't leave, avoid a conversation by being too busy.
- Get away quickly but calmly. Avoid looking back, as it might try to get your attention.
- Don't make eye contact. As soon as he sees you, look away before he can make eye contact with you. Act naturally, but look at your watch, phone, computer, or anything but the person in question.
- If he sees you, smile and nod quickly to go on your way. Don't interrupt when you do.
- Immerse yourself in work, a phone call, or something that makes you seem too busy to talk.
Step 3. Be careful with social networks
Since many people use social media, where you are, what you do, and who you are is often public information. The person you want to avoid could use this as an easy way to contact you.
- If you post all the places you frequent or use a location tag in your posts, the person will know exactly where to find you. Also, don't post photos of where you are. Wait until later and even at the end of the week to post photos of the places you've been to.
- Some apps and sites indicate where you are signed in, allowing the person to know when to contact you.
- Responding to public posts or sharing posts and not responding to the person is a clear sign that you are avoiding them. If you don't want me to take it personally, avoid the social media presence until you can stop avoiding it. You may even have the ability to prevent certain people from seeing your posts, depending on the social network you use.
- Consider removing the person from your friends list or blocking them for a while. While it may seem extreme, if you really want to avoid her and the conversation she wants to have, you may have to. Blocking it will prevent it from finding you through a search, so it might think you're not on social media.
Method 2 of 3: Limit Interactions
Step 1. Act decisively
Sometimes you won't be able to avoid the person. To limit the time you are around her, you will have to be prepared and act fast. It is important that you know what you will say before you have to say it. Don't hesitate or hesitate in what you say, as that will allow the person to extend the conversation.
- Have excuses ready. Always keep in mind a place to go or something important and urgent to do.
- For example, you can say "I was glad to see you, but I have an important report to finish."
- If necessary, tell him directly that you don't want to have a conversation.
- You can say, "I don't mean to be rude, but I need some quiet time now to think. Let's talk later."
Step 2. Keep interactions brief
Limit interactions with the person by keeping them to a minimum. The less time you spend with her, the less time she will have to have a conversation with you.
- Offer one or two word responses, and do not mention topics that could lead to long responses.
- For example, if you see the person and they ask how they are, keep walking while smiling and respond "Fine and very busy."
- Ask closed questions. Questions that require answers such as "yes" or "no" allow for short conversations. Start talking as soon as you answer so you don't have time to continue.
- For example, if you ask him how he's doing, as soon as he tells you he's okay, start saying you're in trouble.
Step 3. Use body language
This is an indirect and effective way to limit an interaction. It can help you prevent the person from talking a lot or about something you don't want to talk about. Use your posture and gestures to indicate that the interaction will be brief.
- If possible, keep walking while talking to the person. If you notice him walking in your direction before you see you, walk faster as if you are in a hurry. Then swipe it up with a short smile and a "hello."
- If you can't leave, try to appear busy or involved with something else. For example, keep looking at your electronic device or watch while talking to it.
- Take your body away from the person a bit. By facing or leaning towards someone, you will seem more interested in the conversation.
Step 4. Make a comment and walk away
You can politely excuse yourself by making a comment about what the person said and then immediately saying that you have to go. Commenting on her will make it seem like you care and care. This will smooth out your output.
- Using the word "need" implies that you don't have a choice, which will also make your outing more gracious.
- For example, you can say, "I hope your karaoke night goes well. I'll have to hear more about it later anyway. I need to go on my date."
- Do it while acting friendly, genuine, and regretful.
Method 3 of 3: Control the conversation
Step 1. Set the tone
If you can't avoid talking to the person, make sure you are in control by setting the tone of the conversation. Be the first person to speak and choose your words and how you say them carefully.
- You can use a tone that indicates that you are friendly, bored, tired, or busy. Use the tone that helps you control the conversation and avoid difficult topics.
- For example, if you want a possible hostile confrontation to be peaceful, greet the person calmly and briefly. A simple "Hi, how are you?" sets a neutral tone.
- Also, take into account the time of day to have the conversation and the medium you use. For example, you may decide to have a phone conversation with the person during the day. You may decide to email him. This will allow you to keep a conversation as short as possible.
Step 2. Choose your topics
To control the conversation, think about what topics you agree to talk about and what you prefer to avoid. Mention the topics you choose and ask the person questions about them. When necessary, match their words to what you want to talk about.
- Ask open-ended questions that get the person talking more about the topic.
- For example, instead of saying "Do you like the car?" You can say "How do you think this car compares to the other one?"
- If you want to just talk about work and the person starts talking about plans for the weekend, you can say, "Before I think about the weekend, I have an important report to finish. What is your approach to the sales plan? ? " To maintain an exclusively business relationship, smile to project warmth, but don't ask personal questions like how she's doing or what her plans are for the weekend. Ask only work-related questions.
- You may also have to say "I don't want to talk about that. Let's talk about something else."
Step 3. Change the subject
One way to control the conversation is to subtly change the subject when it moves toward something you don't want to talk about. Keep some safe topics in mind before you start the conversation, such as sports, the weather, or how the kids or the person's spouse are doing. This way, you can avoid sensitive topics. There are several ways to do it without the person even noticing what you are doing.
- If you find yourself approaching a sensitive topic, briefly excuse yourself. When you come back, start talking about something else.
- For example, if you haven't gotten your driver's license and your friend starts talking about a cross-country trip, go to the bathroom for a few minutes. When you come back, start talking about the strange graffiti you saw in the bathroom.
Step 4. Make it a group discussion
This makes it easier for you to avoid a topic you don't want to talk about. If the conversation turns to a difficult topic, make a vague comment on it and draw someone else into the conversation. This extra person will take away some of your attention.
- It will also keep the conversation from getting too personal and could give you a chance to escape.
- For example, if your girlfriend asks you to define cheating, you can say "It could include a lot of different things." Then tell someone else, "Would you help me and my girlfriend? What do you consider cheating to be?"
- This may not be a good idea for your parents. They could band together against you and force you to have the conversation you want to avoid.
Step 5. Ignore people
Sometimes you won't be able to control the conversation, no matter how hard you try. If you are not required to respond (for example, if it is a co-worker who is chattering away non-stop), allow your mind to occupy more important issues or more interesting topics.
- Remember to nod or say "aha" from time to time. Otherwise, the person will notice that you are not listening.
- Think of your to-do list or make this list in your mind. Think of ways to avoid this situation in the future.
- This will not work if the conversation you want to avoid is one related to an issue that you and the person have to resolve if they are angry with you.
- If you start to feel irritated, take a deep breath and focus on relaxing your body to calm yourself.
Warnings
- These instructions do not work for close friends and family. Be careful and use common sense.
- If you have avoided the person for any time prior to this encounter, these instructions may not work as intended.
- Don't avoid a conversation unless you are willing to accept the consequences that could arise from your actions. These could be in the form of an angry spouse or more awkward encounters in the future. Do not break relationships!