The art of conversation is easy for some and difficult for others. Human interaction is crucial for survival and is one of the best ways to connect with someone. You may feel comfortable having conversations privately or online, but have trouble having conversations at parties or business meetings. Going on a date also poses challenges of a conversation. Finding a comfortable strategy for handling conversations in all situations will expand your connection to people and the world.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Handle a Social Conversation
Step 1. Start a conversation with a simple “Hi, how are you?
”. Depending on the answer, you will know if the person is comfortable talking to you. If he wants to have a conversation, ask him basic questions to start with, such as: “Where are you traveling today? How long are you going to stay?
- If the conversation continues, you can ask more personal questions. As more personal information is shared, so can you. This will increase the quality of the interaction.
- Ask questions like, “What was it like growing up in Southern California? Did you spend a lot of time on the beach or playing sports? "
- If you feel like that person is tired of the conversation, just say, “Well, it was great talking to you. I'll let you go back to what you were doing. " You can tell someone is bored if they keep looking away, look at their watch, or just seem distracted or rushed.
Step 2. Use the conversations to determine compatibility
Conversations that happen on a date can have a bit more pressure than most conversations. The only way you get to know someone is to have conversations about topics that include shared interests, values, ideals, and education level. You need to find someone who is compatible with you, and the conversation will get you there.
Step 3. Be open to answering questions
Open conversations require you to be vulnerable. Pay attention to the benefits of knowing someone. This can help you keep an open mind. You may want to date that person, do business with them, or ask them to be your guardian.
- Thank the person for being open and answering your questions.
- Start with simple questions, and as the conversation unfolds, ask deeper questions. You should definitely ask him what school he attended before wondering what his relationship with his father is like.
- If you sense the discomfort of the person with a certain topic, change direction. Choose a different topic. Signs that someone is uncomfortable may include: looking down, fidgeting, clenching the jaw, or projecting a forced smile.
Step 4. Be an active listener
Let the person know that you are listening by repeating what they are saying in a different way or at another point in the conversation. People like to be heard and even more so to be understood.
For example, when someone is speaking, keep your eyes focused on that person and occasionally nod to show that you are attentive. Wait until they finish talking to make a comment like, "Wow!" or "Yes, I understand what you mean." You can also ask him a reiteration question that is directly related to what he says
Step 5. Wait for a second date
If you're on a date and the conversation has flowed, say, "I think things went well tonight, right?" If she gives you a positive answer, set up a second date or at least tell her when you're going to call or text her. Make sure you make your intention clear.
Step 6. Consider the age difference when talking to someone
Everyone, regardless of age, is happy when their lives are filled with meaningful and deep conversations. However, it helps to be aware of a person's age when talking to them.
- Don't intimidate or invade a child's personal space during a conversation. Ask her simple questions and allow her to answer. Children generally resist the toughest questions that may be of greater social importance. If he doesn't want to talk to you, then let him refrain.
- Speak at a normal voice volume when speaking to an elderly person, unless she asks you to speak louder. Don't assume that every older person is hard of hearing. Say "Hi, how are you doing today?" will start any conversation. Learn as much as you can from older people. They have learned a lot from life, and they are most likely happy to share their experiences with you.
- Not all older people like to be called "honey" or "sweetie."
- Be nice and understand that you may be the only person someone talks to on any given day. A happy life includes meaningful conversation.
Step 7. Focus on networking for personal and business growth
You may be in a local gathering or a national gathering with people you don't know. Conversations are essential if you want to do business with someone or if someone is trying to reach you.
- Break the ice with compliments like, "That's a nice tie," "Your watch is amazing," or "Those shoes are spectacular."
- Handle humor with caution. Each person has a different sense of humor.
- Authenticate your contact information to expand your mailing list.
Step 8. Look for common themes that connect you to the person or people in the crowd
Humans have an innate tendency to find a way to relate to one another. Comfort is gained when you don't feel alone in a crowd. The conversation will lead you to find connections that you can explore.
- If you're at a wedding and you're sitting at a table with people you don't know, you have options. You can sit quietly to eat the food or you can start a conversation to pass the time. In fact, some people have met their future spouses at weddings. This wouldn't happen if they didn't talk.
- Ask the person or people around you how they know the bride or groom.
- Stick to safe topics and avoid talking about politics, religion, and sexual content. You should keep discord to a minimum at least until that person brings it up.
- Talk about the food they serve and what you hope is good.
- If the conversation gets bogged down, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom or go to another table where someone you know may be. Weddings are usually held in beautiful locations. Take advantage of this and find a nice place where you can chat. Maybe the bar is your destination.
Step 9. End the conversation gracefully
There may be times when you would like to end a conversation during a date, at the end of a meeting, or when you are tired. You have every right to end a conversation if you want to or have to. Be nice and say, “I'm so happy you took the time to see me today. I think it's time to go”. Your goal is to make a friendly exit.
Method 2 of 3: Have a Private Conversation
Step 1. Organize your thoughts before a conversation
You are going to have a private conversation with someone, so prepare yourself mentally. Determine a clear goal and a desirable outcome. Private conversations are usually private for a reason. Think about what you want to say and how you want to answer a possible question.
- If you want to tell a person that you have feelings for them, be completely clear about how you feel about it. Are you ready for a relationship or do you just want to go out with it? What are your expectations? Do you want them to be just friends?
- If you want to ask for a raise at work, think about the things you have done that would support your request. Have you been a remarkable worker? Do you take the initiative to do things?
Step 2. Write what you want to say before you say it
This will clarify your thoughts and expectations. The act of writing will allow you to focus on the topic you need to address in conversation. An organized conversation is a more productive conversation.
Practice saying what you have written, as this will relieve any stress you may feel
Step 3. Exercise before talking to the person
This will decrease your anxiety and calm you down. Pick something you like to do and focus your attention on getting a good workout. You will feel clear as you approach the conversation.
Being receptive in your actions and communication with the person you feel feelings for is key to having a good relationship
Step 4. Set a day and time to have the conversation
Most people are busy, so setting a time for conversation is helpful for everyone. There will be times when you won't be able to set a time. Instead, you may need to pick an opportune moment on the spot. If you are prepared, then you will be able to respond when necessary.
Step 5. Practice relaxation techniques
The run up to an important conversation can be filled with nervous energy. Find a way to control your nerves. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and repeat, “I can do it. This is important to me and I need to do it."
Step 6. Give yourself a push
Sometimes we need a little push to get things done. You will give yourself this push because the topic is important and you are willing to take the risk. The possibility of having a good result depends directly on your taking action. It won't happen unless you do.
- Once you are with the person, take a deep breath and repeat “1, 2, 3, go,” and then say what you need to say to the person, for example, “Hey, I want to tell you something that is really exciting to me. I hope you feel the same way. I have really enjoyed our time together and would like to spend more quality time with you. How do you feel about that?". These words provide a good starting point. Let your answer guide the way.
- Be prepared for the possibility that that person may not feel the same way about you. Starting the conversation with some ambiguity will give you the security and freedom to interrupt or redirect the conversation.
Step 7. Continue the conversation by asking questions
Open questions are preferable, but you can ask closed questions that have a "yes" or "no" answer. An open question is asked to get a detailed answer. If you've prepared yourself for the conversation, then you won't be short of things to ask.
- An example of an open-ended question is "Tell me a little about what it was like growing up in Arizona." A question like this can guide you to details of family, education, and other interesting topics.
- An example of a closed question is "Did you find a good place to park?" While the answer may be "yes" or "no," it could spark a detailed conversation about the parking situation in the neighborhood, which could lead to other topics.
- A meaningful conversation will include both types of questions, so don't feel pressure for the conversation to fade and end.
Step 8. Maintain good eye contact
Seeing someone as they speak shows the person that you respect them. If your eyes get lost in other parts of her body or in people walking near her, the person will notice and become angry or lose interest in talking to you. If the person sees you when you speak, you should return the favor.
There are different cultures that believe that taking your eyes off someone is a sign of respect. You are responsible for determining in advance if cultural differences will affect your conversation
Step 9. Leave your cell phone at a safe distance
Cell phones in your immediate environment will cause an unwanted distraction. Cell phone distractions draw your attention away from the person and the conversation. Determine if the conversation requires a higher level of attention. The more serious the subject, the greater the need to eliminate the possibility of distractions.
Step 10. Be an active listener
If you ask the person a question, you should listen to the response without interrupting. Once the person is done, you can ask a new question or ask a question to clarify or reflect on a feeling about the person. When a person knows that you are listening and is being heard, the interaction becomes more comfortable. As conversations become more comfortable, you can ask deeper and more intimate questions.
Step 11. Be kind and courageous when you have to deliver bad news
It's hard to give someone bad news, whether you have to fire someone, tell someone that a loved one has passed away, or end your relationship with your partner. It's perfectly normal to feel nervous about it, take a step back, and try to avoid it. Unfortunately, there are moments in life that are unavoidable and you have to find the strength to do so.
- Use the sandwich technique. This technique involves saying something positive about the person, delivering the bad news, and then ending with a positive sentence. This will help soften the blow of receiving bad news. Depending on the intensity of what you have to say to the person, anything that alleviates the situation will go a long way.
- For example, you can say, “You really are good with people and I can tell they like you. Unfortunately, we decided not to give you the job after all. I'm sure another employer will benefit from having a great employee like you. "
Step 12. Make it as painless as possible
You don't want to prolong the inevitable, so get to the point of the conversation as quickly as possible. This is the most compassionate thing you can do. If you extend the conversation to end the bad news, you will most likely cause a negative reaction.
- Start the conversation by saying, “Look, I have bad news and it's probably going to make you feel bad, so I'm just going to give it to you. I received a call. Your mother passed away. Is there anything I can do to help?
- Listening to the person express their feelings and concerns is an important part of conversations.
- Share similar experiences with the person by saying, “When my mother passed away it was one of the most difficult things. I'm sorry you have to go through this. "
Step 13. Practice your approach
You will improve as you practice your approach to different types of conversations. When the time comes, it will be less difficult. Develop techniques for dealing with people, such as those who work in auto repair, contractors, store clerks, and people on the bus or subway.
For example, if you continually have problems with your home-based contractors, talk to them up front and say, “I'm looking for someone who will deliver on what they say rather than promise and do less than what they say. I would rather have honest communication than feel bad about the situation if expectations are not met. " That person will let you know if they can meet the challenge. This sets an expectation that will help you in the event of future difficulties
Step 14. Prepare to deliver positive news
Giving someone good news is one of life's joys. There are times when you may need to be more prepared than just breaking the news. If you plan to have a conversation about having a baby, getting married, or taking a dream job in New York, you need to have a plan.
- Consider everyone's reactions and make a plan accordingly. If you know that your mother goes crazy when she hears good news, determine an appropriate place.
- Anticipate the questions people might ask you during a conversation. For example, if you are pregnant, people might want to know your due date, if you have chosen possible baby names, and how you feel.
- Be open to answering questions, and remember that the other person is excited for you.
- If you are going to ask someone to marry you, decide where you will do it, when you will do it and what you will say to them. Whether you're on a mountaintop at sunset or on a pedal boat in the morning, the conversations before and after your proposal can be exciting. These are special times, so take extra precautions so you don't feel disappointed.
Method 3 of 3: Handle a Virtual Conversation
Step 1. Create and reply to emails as if they represent you
Online conversations increasingly become an essential part of our daily experience that includes all forms of education. Your words represent who you are and what your personality is, so it is important to start on the right foot. If you don't have the benefit of a face-to-face conversation, your image is built by creating an online communication.
Step 2. Use an appropriate tone in text messages and emails
Be aware that the tone of your text messages and emails can be lost. Virtual conversations are one-dimensional and can be misinterpreted. You don't have the benefit of seeing a person face to face to observe their body language, tone of voice, and emotion in the conversation.
- Be polite when choosing your words.
- Avoid capitalizing throughout text or email. This can feel like you are screaming.
- Use emoticons (small face icons that represent an emotion) to clarify the emotional intent of your comments and conversations.
Step 3. Start and end online communications in a personal and professional way
For example, always include a greeting such as "Dear (person's name), I was excited to see your email today and thought about contacting you." Sign saying, “Thank you for allowing me to explain my situation. I wait your answer. Respectfully, (your name)”.
Step 4. Be clear and direct
If you have a question, ask it quickly. Depending on the recipient, you may only have a few seconds to grab the person's attention.
Step 5. Be friendly
Treat others as you would like to be treated. Even if you have to express conflict or discomfort, you can maintain a professional demeanor. For example, “Dear (person's name), it has come to my attention that your company made a mistake. I am contacting you today to resolve the issue, and I hope it can be resolved without taking any further action."
Step 6. Show discretion when having conversations on social media
Whether you spend an hour a day or a month online, everyone has a reputation online. The power of positive actions and the devastating consequences of an online mistake can change your circumstances in a heartbeat. Every comment you make on social media is a potential conversation starter or response that can encourage it.
Step 7. Make your point clear without being harsh
For example, you can say, "I understand why you are angry, and I have to tell you why I am too." Pause before making any comments. Ask yourself, "Will this offend, belittle, or cause problems for me in my future interactions?" Take another pause before sending the message. Remember that you cannot withdraw what is written once you send it.
Step 8. Avoid generating conflicts in the community
The anonymous nature of online comments carries the potential to unleash a crowd mentality. If you start an online conversation on a social media site and someone doesn't like your comment, a group of enemies can rally against you. Reasonable people can become irresponsible people because they believe that no one will catch or punish them.
Step 9. Don't respond to conversations that will upset you or drag you into negativity
If someone says something to you, ignore it. Positive comments will almost always elicit positive responses. Just make those types of comments and you will find that all online conversations will be positive.
Step 10. Use text messages to converse with others
Texting lets you stay in touch with the people you care about. Some age groups use it more than others, and some abuse text messages to the point of causing health problems. Texting is a very useful tool in today's conversations. When you're busy in your life, you don't always have time to call or talk to someone you care about.
Step 11. Practice common courtesy when texting
If someone texts you, reply within a reasonable time frame. The same common courtesies that you would demonstrate in a face-to-face conversation should be demonstrated in text message conversations.
- If you text and don't get a reply, don't be mad about it. Send a second message and ask the person if they received it.
- If it bothers you that someone doesn't reply to your text messages, you can say, “Hi. Can you do me the favor of at least replying with an 'ok' when I text you? At least I'll know you got it and I won't have to worry about it. "
Step 12. Stay connected with the family
If your grandparents know how to send emails and texts, send them messages to let them know that you love and care about them. Sometimes grandparents feel ignored and are happy to know that you are doing well. If they can and are interested, they will never be too old to learn something new.
Advice
- Keep an open mind to answer the questions.
- Be brave in social situations. Share your thoughts and opinions even if it's a bit awkward.
- Respect the fact that some people don't like to talk on airplanes or in other situations.
- A smile and a friendly "hello" will break the ice in most situations.
- If you don't want to be in the conversation, say, “I don't feel like having a conversation right now. Thanks for giving me some space”.
- Not everyone is a great talker, but if you learn the basics, you can get through most situations.
- Silence is important to everyone. Respect those who want it.
- Don't say you love the person in conversations until you are sure. If you say it too soon, you can question whether you are someone who can be trusted.
Warnings
Be aware of social media trolls who target unsuspecting people to bully them or turn others against them. Most social networks have ways to block unwanted bullying comments. The situation may require you to close your accounts
Reference
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