People choose to join fraternities for whatever reason, from networking and friendships to increased academic and community involvement. Finding out which fraternity is right for you can be a hectic process, especially as you narrow down a long list of fraternities over the course of a busy week. However, if you know what you want from a frat and you know what to expect from the hustle and bustle, you can start your busy week already prepared for the process.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Choose a Frat
Step 1. Decide what type of fraternity you want to be a member of
Fraternities may have similar goals of cultivating friendships and participating in campus life, but no two fraternities approach these goals in the same way. Each fraternity has different bylaws, plans different events, and focuses on different aspects of campus life. With this in mind, you should meet with various fraternities as early as possible in the school's recruiting process.
You may find that some fraternities put too much emphasis on social events, while you might be more interested in a fraternity that promotes academic and leadership skills, or vice versa
Step 2. Attend the events of the different fraternities
Each fraternity will hold various events at the beginning of the semester during what is more commonly known as “the busy week” to spark the interest of potential members. Spend a busy week or two nights visiting as many fraternity events as you can to determine which one best fits your personality and your goals for campus life.
- In addition to just meeting people, keep track of what it would take to be a part of each community. The parties and free food of the busy week are not necessarily emblematic of daily frat life. Don't be afraid to ask lots of questions about the induction process, the type of spending you can expect in relation to fees, the types of commitments you are expected to make in relation to study hours, as well as campus events and of the community; also ask if by becoming a member you will live in the fraternity house or elsewhere.
- Not only will it help you decide which fraternities really interest you, but you will also get in touch with a lot of people in the process.
- You will likely find lists of these events where clubs and groups on campus are allowed to advertise, including bulletin boards, easel signs, etc.
Step 3. Narrow the list
After you have the idea of a wide variety of fraternities and what each one is about, create a short list of the ones that interested you the most. Once you know which houses you are interested in learning more about, you can schedule the rest of the week to attend more of their events.
Step 4. Get to know as many siblings as you can from each fraternity on your list
This depends on how many fraternities are on your list, but spend one more day of the week getting to know as many siblings as you can from each fraternity on the list. You may find that your initial impression of a frat was not what you thought or that while you like a certain frat approach, you are not sure how well you can get along with siblings with whom you will have constant interaction.
- During these interactions, remember that their job is to sell you their fraternity and yours is to be yourself. Be nice but honest with all the siblings you meet. If you are not interested in their fraternity, there is no problem, but if you pretend that you are interested in order to receive as many offers as possible, in the long run you will waste your time and theirs.
- Keep narrowing the list as you gather more information on each one, but don't worry about narrowing the list down to a single fraternity. Like when you apply to college in general, participating in a single fraternity's busy week does not guarantee that you will be offered an offer to become a member. By keeping your options spread across three or so fraternities, you increase your chances of getting into one of them.
Step 5. Manage the offers
Depending on the demand for the fraternities on your list, they could make offers to potential members until the end of the week, or they could start making offers from scratch if they find a few people who they think are a perfect fit. Don't feel pressure to respond right away. In addition to accepting or declining an offer, most fraternities will allow you to put the offer on hold while you continue to evaluate your options.
Make sure you fully understand the specifics of putting the offer on hold. You don't want to lose the place in the fraternity you chose in the end, just because you responded too late
Step 6. Choose the fraternity
After spending time with a few different fraternities that you think fit you, hopefully you get an offer from at least one of them. Take the appropriate amount of time to evaluate your options and choose the one that most complements your personality, your campus goals, and the expected level of interaction.
When you accept a fraternity offer, they will make it official by asking you to sign an “offer card,” although it may have a different name at each fraternity
Part 2 of 2: Get Started in Frat
Step 1. Know what to expect
Once you've accepted a fraternity offer, you still have to undergo the initiation process, which is essentially where you continue to get to know the fraternity and commit to supporting the traditions and expectations of the fraternity. You may have to spend a great deal of time organizing fraternity events, representing the fraternity at school-related events such as sporting events, and spending time with charitable organizations chosen by the fraternity.
Due to the controversial history and connotations of initiations, many fraternities have ended that process. This means that while you are expected to remain committed to learning about the community and supporting its practices, you may not actually have to get started
Step 2. Don't tolerate hazing
Although many college campuses and fraternity divisions have cracked down on the practice of hazing, it still exists. Generally speaking, fraternities feel that the hazing process is a rite of approval in which you demonstrate your dedication and desire to belong. However, there is a big difference between showing dedication and submitting yourself to humiliating or potentially dangerous acts.
- If you ever feel that you are harassed by the brothers of the fraternity when you start, report it to an authority. If you feel the actions go beyond anything the higher-ranking siblings would allow, report it to them. If you feel like you can't tell other siblings, talk to someone in the college's student affairs office. The student affairs office staff will allow you to remain anonymous if you wish. Then they will take care of the problem with the fraternity and even apply the law if necessary. Never feel like you're a snitch or just can't spit in the face of unacceptable behavior.
- You will have to decide what seems to be an acceptable way to tease someone, by the brothers of the fraternity, as you earn your place in the organization as an initiate, but never allow them to cross a line with which you do not you feel comfortable.
Step 3. Commit to time
Although not hazing, the initiation process is still an intense process of learning and continuous integration in the life of the fraternity. You can expect to spend roughly six to twelve weeks as an uninitiated depending on each fraternity.
Step 4. Get involved in philanthropic practices
During the time that you are uninitiated, members of the fraternity will expect you to experience the wide variety of activities in which they participate. It usually includes helping one of the philanthropic organizations that the fraternity supports. This can range from helping organize a fundraiser to donating time to the organization.
Step 5. Stay up to date with classes
Many fraternities require you to keep your GPA above a certain threshold in order to continue participating. Develop good study habits early on so you're never stuck in a bad situation where grades swing. As you get started, the fraternity will likely advise you to familiarize yourself with the study rooms and other academic support it offers.
Step 6. Participate in social events
In addition to philanthropic and academic responsibilities, fraternities will also expect you to maintain a certain level of participation in social events. Fraternities seek to be well represented at campus functions, sporting events, and other social venues, and the uninitiated are expected to participate in several of these events. Even the uninitiated can be delegated the task of helping do fieldwork to spread the word about fraternity events. Above all, prepare to be active.
Advice
- Remember that you do not need to join a fraternity the first term or semester you are on campus. You can take the time to adjust to college life before committing to a fraternity.
- Do not trust nepotistic ideas regarding the fraternity of your choice. Just because your father belonged to a particular fraternity does not mean that he is the best option for you, nor does it mean that they have to automatically extend an offer to you. You must choose and enter a fraternity based on your own merits.
- If you don't know what the campus fraternities are, you can ask at the university's student affairs office. Keep a record of the fraternities that are allowed to operate on campus.
- Some exclusive college campuses have also killed off the idea of the busy week, so they might allow you to reach out and join a fraternity at any time during the term or semester.
- If in the end you feel that all the fraternities require too great a commitment, you can take a look at the campus clubs, which will require less of your time and also allow you to tailor the experience to your interests more carefully.