An identity crisis can occur at any age and in any situation, and often when one is separated from one's community or loved ones. No matter what the conditions are, it is equally disconcerting. Our sense of identity is vital to our happiness, and when that sense is damaged it can be devastating. Learning to regain a sense of yourself can help you overcome an identity crisis and find happiness.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Finding Out Who You Are
Step 1. Explore your identity
Exploring identity is more common during adolescence. Many teens test different personalities and experiment with different values set by those who raised them. It is an important part of growing up. Furthermore, without such exploration, an adult runs the risk of finding himself without a consciously chosen identity. If you've never explored your identity at some point in your life, doing so now will be an important step in resolving an identity crisis.
- Think about the qualities and characteristics that define you as the person you are today.
- Examine your values. What is the most important to you? What principles define your way of living? How were they formed and who influenced you to adopt those values?
- Evaluate if these qualities and values have changed throughout your life or have been constant. Whether they have changed or not, examine why that happened.
Step 2. Determine what motivates you
Everybody feels adrift from time to time. When it happens to you, it is important to find out what drives you to do activities in your daily life. For many people, the most motivating things are relationships with other people. Friends, relatives, colleagues, and romantic relationships form a web of relationships that we choose to surround ourselves with.
- Think about the relationships that are most important to you. How have those relationships influenced you? For better or worse?
- Think about why these relationships are important to you. Why do you surround yourself with the people you chose to be with?
- If relationships don't motivate you, think about why this is happening. Are you someone who does not seek intimacy with others? Is it something that you like about yourself or that you want to change?
- Ask yourself honestly if you would still be the same person without the relationships you have had throughout your life.
Step 3. Examine your interests
In addition to relationships, personal interests are what often help people stay grounded. Whether you're aware of it or not, your relationships and interests probably take up most of your free time outside of work or school. You may have chosen them because of your personality and identity, or maybe your sense of identity was shaped by those interests and hobbies. Either way, these are crucial to understanding who you really are.
- Think about how you spend your free time. What interests or hobbies do you use the most time or energy on?
- Now consider why those interests are important to you. Have you always had those interests? Have they defined you since you were young or do you have them recently? Why did these interests appear in the first place?
- Ask yourself honestly if you would still be the same person without these interests.
Step 4. Visualize the best version of yourself in the future
One way to feel more secure in your sense of identity and more confident about who you want to be is by practicing visualizing the best version of yourself in the future. This exercise forces you to examine your current identity, then visualize and write about the best version of yourself that you can realistically work on for the future.
- Have 20 minutes to complete the visualization exercise.
- Imagine your life in the near future focusing on specific aspects of your life that could go as well as possible.
- Write the details of what you imagined for yourself.
- Think of ways to make your vision of yourself come true. Remember the future you have envisioned every time you feel trapped or lost in life, and use it to focus.
Part 2 of 4: Recovering from Losses or Changes
Step 1. Reevaluate your life
Loss and change can be devastating, but they also offer us new opportunities to assess who we are and what we are doing. Your goals and dreams are likely to be different now than they were five or ten years ago. However, it is likely that you have not noticed that change due to habit and circumstance.
- Every time you experience a loss or sudden change, use it as an opportunity to reevaluate your life. For example, many people view the death of a loved one as a wake-up call to do different things or to stop putting off long-term goals. A job loss can also be a wake-up call to find a job that offers you more happiness and satisfaction.
- Ask yourself honestly if your current goals and personal values are the same as they used to be. If they aren't, find ways to incorporate your new goals and values into your life.
Step 2. Open yourself to change
Many people fear change, especially those who are big and who seem to alter our lives. However, change is not always a bad thing; in fact, change is normal and healthy for our situations. In addition, some experts advise that anyone who goes through a change should adapt and modify their identity rather than resist that inevitable change.
- Ask yourself if, in ten or twenty years, you might regret not having taken the opportunity to try something new or do different things.
- Allow yourself to go through a process of self-discovery. Find out what it is you want the most in life and find a way to fulfill that goal with your current identity.
- As you imagine the person you will be in the future, do not forget that that being is still you. Don't expect to be a different person. Instead, anticipate that the experience will make you wiser and more informed than now without distancing yourself from your inner essence.
Step 3. Explore your options
Some people who have been laid off, or who have otherwise lost their job or status, may experience an identity crisis, not knowing what to do or how to pick up the pieces. Some experts advise that one of the best things you can do after losing a job you liked is to explore other options and find ways to do the same job in a different environment.
- Consider freelancing in your chosen field. It may not be your ideal position, but it will allow you to continue working in the field you enjoy, which can help you renew your sense of purpose.
- Try to network. Some jobs are only advertised internally to other employees. This is the reason why networking with other professionals in your field can be enormously beneficial as it opens the doors to new opportunities that you would have otherwise missed. It can also help you feel part of a larger community of professionals in the same field as you.
- Develop new habits that can help you get where you want to be. Doing the same things you've been doing for years probably won't get you very far, so work hard to make the necessary changes.
Part 3 of 4: Finding Your Sense of Purpose
Step 1. Live your values
The values you have are central to defining yourself as a person. These help you shape your identity in many ways. One of the easiest ways to make sense of purpose in life is to always represent the values you hold dear.
- If being kind and compassionate is part of your values, then find ways to practice kindness and compassion every day.
- If religion is one of your values, then practice your religion regularly.
- If fostering a sense of community is one of your values, then get to know your neighbors and try to organize a monthly meeting.
Step 2. Do something that you are passionate about
If you are passionate about your work, that will make you very happy in life. If you're not passionate about it, that's fine. You just need to find things that you are passionate about outside of work. Having something that you are passionate about can help you feel more fulfilled and give you a better sense of purpose.
- Start by doing what you love and what makes you happy (as long as what makes you happy is safe and legal). There is no reason to stop doing the things you are passionate about. Many people even find ways to turn their passions into self-sustaining work. It takes work, but that starts with finding time to do what makes you happy.
- If you don't have anything you're passionate about, find something. Look into your set of values for inspiration for things you might enjoy or start a new hobby. Learn to play an instrument, take an instructional class, or go to a hobby store and ask a worker to suggest some good beginner crafts.
Step 3. Get out of your house
Some people find that spending time outdoors gives them a sense of purpose and fulfillment. There are even therapeutic treatments that use outdoor activities, such as hiking or camping, to help people overcome psychological problems and addictions.
Search the Internet for parks and hiking trails near your home. Just make sure you follow all the necessary safety precautions, and bring someone with you if you are new to the area or the activity
Step 4. Explore your spirituality
Religion is not for everyone and does not necessarily give everyone a sense of purpose. However, some people believe that faith and a religious community help them feel connected to something beyond themselves. Even secular practices based on spirituality, such as meditation and mindfulness, have been shown to have positive effects on a person's psychological well-being.
- Try using meditation to feel more centered. Keep an intention in mind, like focusing on making sense of a purpose or yourself. Then focus on your breathing ignoring any external thoughts that come to your head. Breathe through your nostrils and focus on the sensation of breathing in and out. Sit as much as you feel comfortable and try to increase the duration of your meditation each time you practice it.
- Search the internet and read about different religions from around the world. Each faith has its own values and beliefs, some of which may coincide with your own values.
- Talk to your friends or relatives who are spiritual. They might have some knowledge, and help you explore the practices and beliefs of various religions if you are interested.
Part 4 of 4: Strengthening Your Sense of Identity
Step 1. Work on your relationships
Friends, family, and important people in your life are sources of stability for many people. Having a strong connection with your family and friends can also help you feel more stable in terms of identity by giving you a sense of belonging.
- Call or email your friends or family. Encounter people you see often, as well as people you only see occasionally.
- Let your friends and family know that you care about them, and tell them that you would like them to spend more time together.
- Make plans to have coffee, go out to eat, watch a movie, go out for a drink, or go on an adventure together. Taking the time and effort to build stronger relationships will help you feel happier and more secure in your sense of identity.
Step 2. Find ways to grow personally
Whether you find fulfillment and personal growth in religion, athletics, philosophy, art, travel, or any other passion, go after the things that are important to you. Allow your passions to shape and change you by making you vulnerable. Recognize that the things you enjoy are worth enjoying, and find ways to surround yourself with those things on a daily or weekly basis.
Step 3. Strive to achieve what you want
A great way to have a stronger sense of purpose is by earning accolades and achievements in your career. No matter what you do, if you work hard to get it right, there will be profit. While it is true that there is much more to life than just working, work helps us validate ourselves and make us feel like we have a purpose.