Emotions can be strong, perhaps one of the most powerful things we experience; especially the bad ones. If you have trouble controlling your thoughts and emotions, you can learn to control your mind and body, to make your emotional reactions and experiences much less severe.
Part 1 of 3: Control Your Emotions
Step 1. Find out what makes you vulnerable
If you feel very intensely, you need a plan to strengthen your sensitive areas. Be aware of the things that affect you, the things that make you feel uncomfortable. That bothers you? What causes you? Consider the following questions as specifically as possible:
- What do you like more?
- What is it that generates the strongest feelings in you?
- What makes you cry or want to cry?
- What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? What is the ugliest?
- What would you like to avoid at any cost?
- What is the most important thing in your live?
- What is essential for you?
Step 2. Expose yourself as much as you can
Find your chord. Is it a fear, an attachment, or a devotion? Regardless of the case, try exposing yourself to it as much as possible. Give him less power in your life. Confront it.
Think of it as facing your fears. If something makes you feel a lot, you can learn to desensitize yourself. If you watch a hundred horror movies, a hundred and one will make you much less scary
Step 3. Take small steps
If you are afraid of dogs, go to a kennel once a week and just stay in a room with some of them. Pet one gently when you get the chance and work your way up until you can walk a large dog. If horror movies scare you, start with something that's for ages 13 and up and work your way up to the very graphic ones.
Step 4. Have a ritual to forget
Experiencing strong emotions will help you feel less affected by them. You might even start to like the horror movie one hundred and one. What happens when something has less power? You have the power to get rid of it. You have the power to forget yourself.
- If you can't stop thinking about an ex who caused you a lot of pain, look for old photographs. Remember the good times one more time. Then create a box in your mind and burn the memories. Burn those photos.
- Treat it like an important ritual, as silly as it sounds or sounds to you. Say this out loud: "This is the last time a horror movie will bother me. I will never be afraid of one again and I will never have to watch another." Discard the real photos.
Step 5. Give less value to what other people think
Your feelings are your business. Listen to your own voice and your instincts. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty that something matters to you too deeply. There is nothing wrong with your passions.
Only keep friends who support you and give you positive energy, not those who criticize or tease you. If your friends aren't like that, get new ones
Step 6. Distract yourself from difficult feelings
If you have trouble controlling your emotions, distract yourself with other things. Don't control them; leave them behind.
- Some people may seem cold or unemotional because they are drowning at work. Have the busiest schedule you can and your time as busy as you can. Take care.
- Pick a new hobby if you have trouble thinking about what to do. Play an instrument, start a new sport, or start a new kind of collection. Always be active in something, striving for a goal.
Part 2 of 3: Get away from your emotions
Step 1. Be aware of your emotions
"Not feeling" does not mean ignoring your emotions or suppressing them. If you feel negativity, accept it. If you feel love, accept it. Strive to be fully aware and present to the emotions you experience.
Your feelings will always be a part of you in some way. Even the Dalai Lama gets angry occasionally and the toughest fighter in MMA will sometimes come to tears. If your emotions don't control you, you will be calm, collected and collected. You will be unflappable. It is not about "losing" your emotions, but having them away and under control
Step 2. Name what you feel
The better you can learn to talk about how you feel, the less you will control your actions and you will not identify with it.
- If you feel a particular emotion coming to you, name it: "I feel anger" or "There is anger here." It might sound weird, but it helps you put your emotions elsewhere.
- Do not identify with your feelings. Don't say "I'm upset." How you feel does not define you as a person. You are the sum of what you feel. You are greater than your feelings.
Step 3. Accept your feelings
Sometimes you won't be able to control your feelings. They are not something we can choose from and we don't have much control over them. If you are afraid of horror movies, you are afraid of them. If you feel sad about breaking up with your ex, you will be sad for her.
Imagine that you can "see" how your suffering happens, as if someone else was going through it. Take it away from your conception of yourself. Put your suffering there far away
Step 4. Express yourself freely
When you learn to accept your feelings, you can learn to let go. Express yourself as freely as you can. Think less about how to "feel" or "not feel" and more about how to remain detached from the feelings you experience. Experience how your feelings come to mind and send them back outside as quickly as they came.
Make an effort to think less about how you feel and more about just feeling it in the moment and letting go. If something angers you, don't bury it below the surface. Say "That pissed me off" and explain why
Part 3 of 3: Practice Meditation
Step 1. Practice rhythmic breathing
The mind and body are connected in ways that are difficult to understand, but your breath is often at the meeting point of that connection. Breathing deeply helps calm your emotions and settle your mind, as well as oxygenate your bloodstream, which will help you generate feelings of euphoria and tranquility.
Each day, try sitting and breathing deeply for 15 to 20 minutes or more if you are comfortable and have the time. Breathe in deeply for 10 seconds, hold your breath for 5 seconds, and breathe out again for 10 seconds
Step 2. Exercise a lot
Sometimes known as the "runner's trance", it is believed that there is a kind of euphoria of mind and body when you start to exert yourself with intense exercises. As science struggles to understand this phenomenon, the hypothesis has been put forward suggesting that endorphins may play a role, resulting in a common description of calm and euphoria associated with running or other types of exercise.
Don't try too hard. If you're not a regular exerciser, don't try too hard, but try to get in shape if you want to experience it. Then try challenging yourself to the "one more" game. If you're going out for a run and you get to the point where you were about to stop, force yourself to run one more lap or one more block. Do one more rep of a squat or one more minute of burpees
Step 3. Learn to induce a trance state
Some people suggest that sitting and meditating on the breath and then progressively focusing on the "vibration" in some areas of the body can help induce a trance state, where your worries and feelings are far away and your sense of time disappears. Start meditating normally, sit back and breathe deeply, focusing on your breath. Later:
- Try focusing on making your feet "vibrate", imagine them slowly going from control to uncontrolled. Move on to moving your legs, stomach, chest, and arms. In the end, shake your head.
- Imagine walking down some long stairs, slowly putting one foot in front of the other, slowly coming down.
- Some people also like to imagine themselves floating down a large cave like a feather or climbing a large rope hand over hand or being swallowed by a series of smoke rings.
Step 4. Experiment with the suffering meditation
A particular style of Buddha meditation known as "tonglen" focuses on connecting the mind and body around the concept of suffering. If you are interested in letting go of obsessive thoughts, feeling less, Pema Chodron, the famous Buddhist and author, suggests practicing a meditation like tonglen to cultivate a sense of peace.
- When you feel emotional discomfort or pain, force yourself to say (or think), "Other people feel this." Your suffering is not unique. It is what others have experienced and do experience on a regular basis.
- Inhale the feeling. Take the burden of that suffering off others each time you breathe in, and breathe positive energy and emotions back into the world. Say "May others be relieved of this suffering when I assume it."
Step 5. Talk to your doctor if you have difficulties.
If you are struggling with serious emotional issues, obsessive thoughts, or are just very upset, consider asking others for help. You cannot control all emotional problems. You have guided therapy, prescribed medications, and a variety of treatment options at your disposal.
If you have severe physical pain, it's also important to discuss pain management options with your doctor. Don't suffer in silence. Try to describe your pain as accurately and honestly as possible, and look at various treatment options
- Do not rush. It takes a lot of practice.
- Spend time learning more about yourself.
- Do breathing exercises or meditate.