Some people of an introverted nature spend their lives pretending to be extroverts in a misguided effort to please others. You shouldn't be ashamed of being an introvert, and for your well-being, it's healthy for you to accept yourself just the way you are. If you prefer to keep to yourself most of the time, send signals (through what you say and what you don't say, through body language, etc.) so that others will understand. Accept your ability to live your life on your own terms, but never use introversion as an excuse to be hostile to others.
Method 1 of 3: Signal Others
Step 1. Keep to yourself when you feel like you want to
Having friends and relating to others is emotionally healthy, as is spending time alone. It's okay if you're happier and healthier spending more time with yourself than everyone else.
- When you have to interact with other people, even if you don't feel like it, organize your thoughts so that the conversation is as short and basic as possible.
- If you don't feel comfortable sitting in the middle of the crowd at school, find a spot at the back of the room or another more secluded spot. Join others whenever you want.
Step 2. Be quiet when you want to, instead of feeling compelled to speak
There will be times when you have to talk to people, but don't try to be too talkative or loud and boisterous just to “fit in” or please others. Being quiet most of the time and being thoughtful and soft-spoken when communicating will make others understand that you want to interact on your own terms.
Pause and think before speaking. Evaluate if the comment is necessary. It's amazing how many times keeping quiet is the best answer
Step 3. Keep your opinions to yourself to avoid attracting attention
Expressing your opinions openly will attract attention and may even get you in trouble with others. Therefore, share your opinions only with your close friends and family, or save your thoughts for times when you feel the need to express them.
Others may see you as a fascinatingly mysterious person if you don't openly share your feelings and opinions
Step 4. Use body language so that others understand when you want to be left alone
For example, when in the hallway between classes, lean against the wall with your arms folded or your hands in your pockets, and with the sole of your foot against the wall. This position conveys an attitude of detachment.
Limit eye contact with others. Instead, look at your feet or look into the void itself
Step 5. Be introverted and quiet without being intentionally obnoxious
Go ahead and be silent when you want to, but answer when people speak to you and use at least a slightly pleasant tone of voice. You don't need to come across as rude. If you don't want to make any impression at all, you might as well appear mysterious.
Being "very cold and quiet" does not mean that you have the right to treat others badly. You deserve to be left alone by others, but people also deserve to be treated with respect and dignity
Method 2 of 3: Go Your Own Path
Step 1. Stop trying to please others by ignoring your own desires
Be nice to people, but stop choosing your actions based solely on whether or not they will please others. Learn to set limits on your time and availability so that others understand what your limits are.
- Sometimes you need to say something like “I'm sorry, but no. I can't help you today. I really need some time to myself this afternoon. "
- You have no right to hurt others with your actions or inactions, but you also shouldn't feel guilty about prioritizing your desires whenever possible.
Step 2. Answer (or do not answer) in the way you think appropriate
If a specific situation or someone's words or actions make you laugh, grimace, or do nothing at all, follow your instincts. Accept your heartfelt words, actions, and feelings (or lack thereof) as valid. However, you should also accept the sincere reactions of others to your response or lack of response.
Being true to yourself is more important than acting on the opinions of others, but that doesn't mean you can be rude or malicious. Don't respond at all, instead of being intentionally rude with your response. Others may still interpret your lack of response as rude behavior, but that is something you cannot control
Step 3. Identify your wishes without taking into account the interpretations of others
When deciding what you really want to be or do, don't worry about how others may interpret your actions. Ultimately, you will have to assess whether you are unnecessarily annoying or hurtful to others. However, save this analysis for the future, once you have identified your path.
For example, first, focus solely on your desires by understanding that you want to quit your job and find something that better suits your personality. Only after you have identified this should you consider the impact on those around you
Step 4. Set aside time for quiet, thoughtful activities, if they suit your introverted nature
For example, maybe your classmates want to go to a soccer game, swimming, or ice skating, but you might prefer to read a good book. Reading is a relaxing activity for the emotions and stimulating for the mind for many introverts, so don't be embarrassed to make it your pleasure activity.
Keeping a journal, writing creatively, and creating works of art are also activities that are often suitable for introverts. However, don't feel compelled to do them just because you're introverted. If you want to play soccer or ice skating, do it
Step 5. Keep people at arm's length away
Cold people do not allow anyone to get close enough to know them and they know very well how to achieve it. When someone asks about them, they get distracted or change the conversation. It is not necessarily because they dislike others, but they find it more difficult than others to be nice or attractive. And if the coldness is deep, they don't feel enough interest in other people to justify showing any of it. They isolate themselves to avoid those who want to know them.
Method 3 of 3: Accept Yourself and Improve
Step 1. Accept yourself as you are in the first place
You cannot control whether others accept you for who you are, but you can choose to do it yourself. For example, if you are a quiet person by nature and have an attitude of disinterest and indifference with many things in life, accept that this is your truth. As long as you don't harm others, there is no reason why you can't be who you are and you feel proud of it.
- Instead of wishing you were different, take some time to get to know yourself better. Identify and value the positive aspects of "being yourself" and identify ways to improve as a person when appropriate.
- Be self-centered. You are the center of your universe. Cold people do not find it easy to talk with others, much less see life from the point of view of others. Don't be curious or show interest in other people.
Step 2. Analyze yourself without harsh criticism
Learn to acknowledge your true feelings and reactions, and then decide what you want to stay the same and what you want to change. Set a goal to be the best version of yourself.
Don't ignore your flaws, but don't berate yourself for having them either. Identify them, learn from them and make an effort to improve, but do not try to change your personality completely
Step 3. Seek help to improve when you need it
Introverts, especially those who are naturally quiet and cold, are often labeled "dark," "disturbed," and even "dangerous." These labels are generally neither fair nor true, but if you feel that your thoughts or actions are not good for your well-being or that of others, don't be afraid to seek professional help.
- Talk to your GP for recommendations from mental health professionals.
- A good therapist will not try to change you. Instead, you will use different techniques to help you achieve a healthier version of yourself.
- If someone comes up and asks you why you never speak, feel free to honestly answer something like "It's the way I am." If their tone is offensive or accusatory, you can add something like "Why should you care?"
- Being an introvert doesn't mean you can't have friends. In fact, you may have fewer friendships, but deeper ones.