Are you very excited because your girlfriend, friend or the girl you like has invited you to their house? Suddenly your nerves may take over you. When meeting your family, spending quality time together, or moving in for a long period, the main rule is to be honest, courteous, and respectful.
Method 1 of 3: Behaving Alone
Step 1. Ask for a tour to see the terrain
This is very useful if you feel uncomfortable or don't know what to do when you arrive. Pay attention to decorations, old photos, and book and music collections. All of these things will be great to start a conversation and stop talking.
Step 2. Let him take the lead in activities and fun
Very often, he will surely have in mind some things that he wants to show you or favorite activities to do around his house. If she invites you, remember to be a good guest and allow her to be a good hostess. If things get awkward or you are very shy, you can suggest things to do. However, it is best that you allow her to take the lead, respecting the hostess and the house, before saying what things you want to do.
Don't worry if things get awkward at first. This is normal and will pass
Step 3. Help her with chores and activities, like washing dishes after sharing a meal
Just because you're her guest doesn't mean she has to take care of everything. In the event that he has to take care of certain chores, offer your help, instead of watching television or distracting yourself until he is finished. Think of it this way: the faster you get done with chores, the sooner you can hang out.
Do you want to impress her? Don't offer your help; act directly. He washes the dishes while she cleans the floor, takes clean towels, spreads the clothes on the clothesline, etc
Step 4. Leave everything as you found it
Never assume that it is "not important at all" just because you might leave the toilet seat up at home, don't use a coaster, or leave books on the counter when you're done reading. Adopt their level of order and cleanliness, not yours. The best approach is to put things back, letting her be the one to point out which things are important and which she doesn't mind you exploring or manipulating.
- You don't have to act like you're in a museum. Just be polite and don't leave anything messy.
- Make sure you don't create more work for others. If you don't know where to store your dishes, don't put them anywhere just to get them out of the way.
Step 5. Be respectful and honest about your romantic advances
Just because a girl invites you to her house doesn't mean she wants to sleep with you. This may seem obvious, but it can also be confusing if he invites you for the first time and you don't know what he wants to do. The best advice is to take it easy, build up the romance bit by bit (hugging, snuggling, kissing, etc.), rather than assuming you'll go all the way once you walk through the door.
As in any other situation, you should always ask for consent before making a romantic or sexual advance. And above all, do not forget to use protection!
Step 6. Talk about how long they will be alone
If their parents or siblings could be arriving at any time, make sure both of you know in advance. Ask if it's okay for you to be there and what is appropriate behavior in their presence. For example, you should know if their parents don't want them to be in their room together.
Method 2 of 3: Behaving in the Presence of His Family
Step 1. Ask for important information from the family before you arrive
You don't need to know every familiar detail, but it is important that you know if there are any topics that you should avoid at dinner. Be curious. What do your parents do? Which are your hobbies? Are there any special circumstances that you have to be careful of? Showing that you care enough to ask questions will make the experience that much more natural for everyone.
- Does she know of any common ground that you may have with her family or points that you could use to find a conversation naturally?
- Is there anything you can bring as a small "thank you" gift? While a bottle of wine is a classic choice, it won't do if you don't drink alcohol or are underage.
Step 2. Offer to do the dishes and help with small tasks
As much as they refuse, the intention is what counts. To be a truly considerate guest, help clear the table after they finish eating, take the initiative, and show respect. While you're not there to be the temporary handyman, asking if you can help can make a big difference.
Step 3. Be careful about physical contact, but don't feel like you have to avoid it entirely
It could be a little weird if you are suddenly distant with the girl. While you shouldn't be obscene, a simple and sweet way to show affection is to occasionally hold her hand or put your arms around her.
Ask him beforehand if you think his family might disapprove of any kind of physical contact. When in doubt, allow her to make the first move and follow suit
Step 4. Be yourself, instead of wanting to be her "perfect" partner
It is normal that you are nervous or stressed, but do not convince yourself that you must shape your behavior to be the "perfect" partner, since that does not exist. Watch your manners, introduce yourself with a smile and a firm handshake, and be yourself. Imagine that you will meet a professor, teacher or business contact for the first time, instead of thinking that you will meet your potential in-laws.
Share your anecdotes, but be honest about your goals and hopes. Don't be afraid to make a low-key joke or two if you feel it's appropriate. Don't doubt every action, and be yourself
Step 5. Accept your family's culture and atmosphere with an open mind
Try a new dish with a smile. If the family takes a moment to bless the table, bow their heads respectfully, even if you don't share their faith. The general principle should be "go with the flow." Remember that they have welcomed you into their family; accept the invitation with open arms.
- The more you know about her family, the more you will learn from the girl in question.
- This does not mean that you have to lie or change your personal beliefs to fit in, but rather listen and learn, rather than having everything revolve around you.
Method 3 of 3: stick with her for longer periods
Step 1. Help with chores and general house maintenance
If you want to be a good guest, you must help around the house. Most importantly, you shouldn't wait for him to ask for your help if you see that there is something that needs to be done. Staying in someone's house means that the two of you work together to make the space happy and livable. These are some of the chores you should pay attention to:
- Water the plants.
- Wash the dishes.
- Wash sheets, blankets, and towels.
- Take care of pets.
Step 2. Respect their preferences when taking care of the house
Surely she prefers to do some things in a certain way, even if it doesn't make sense to you. Perhaps your spice rack is organized in a certain way to make it easier to prepare meals, or you want to fold towels in a certain way. Everyone, including you, has quirks and preferences for living, so be sure to respect those of the girl in question. Being considerate is not so much about respecting the order of spices or towels, but about understanding your personal space and preferences.
- Possibly keep your things in a specific order and place. Be respectful and ask questions when putting your things away.
- You may do things in a way that you consider "better" or "more reasonable," but remember that it is not your home. At the end of the day, your preferences for your things should be the priority.
Step 3. Come to a fair agreement to split expenses up front, like food
If you plan to stay at her house, you should be willing to help her cover at least some of the expenses, especially food. As much as she has everything covered, she may want to split the cost of rent and utilities, depending on the amount of time you stay at her home. Don't assume that "everything is fine." Make sure you ask him about his finances before unspoken matters become a problem.
Talking about money is never pleasant, but it is essential to have a strong and healthy relationship
Step 4. Establish ground rules for life wishes or preferences
Maybe you need a quiet moment when you get home from work. Maybe both of you want to shower before you go, but you have to find a way to have enough time for both of you. The best way to deal with these situations is to speak as they arise. Come to an agreement early on, rather than when one of you is upset. Here are some common things to talk about:
- Who will take care of each maintenance and chores around the house?
- What will be the etiquette for inviting people to visit, dine, hang out, etc.?
- What are your usual routines like, such as break times, and the level of respect for them?
Step 5. Talk openly and honestly about romantic expectations
Talking about romance may be the least romantic thing you can do, but it is absolutely necessary. Whether you share a bed with a couple or are two friends living together, sit down and discuss physical intimacy with each other from the beginning.
- If you are a couple, think about how often you want to be together and promise to be honest about your mood and feelings. If one of you says no, remind yourself that it is a firm refusal, not something to negotiate.
- If you are just friends, talk about when and how it is acceptable to take someone home, and determine etiquette regarding dating and home.
Step 6. Treat your home with respect, not as your personal property
Staying with someone for a long time (whether it's your date or not) often leads to laid-back "rules" and ideas. However, just because you feel comfortable in their home does not mean that it is automatically yours. Instead, you should have good manners in every way. Clean up your clutter, put things back, and respect their rules and preferences. This way, everything will be fine. The way you conduct yourself at home has to do with being a considerate and kind person; it's not that complicated.
Keep in mind that you are in her house (and no matter how much it is a foreign house), so your presence will affect her directly. For example, if you know you pay your water bill, don't take a 30-minute shower. Ugual remember to turn off the lights that you do not use if she is the one who pays the electricity bill
- If you use something, take it and put it back.
- Wash your plate and place it on the dish rack.
If you are going to take some food from the refrigerator or pantry ask permission first. Serve yourself in someone else's home it is an abuse and a lack of respect because you never know if they have it reserved for a specific purpose.
If there is something that you do not eat, either due to dietary restriction or simply because you do not like it, it is good that you talk it first with her before she invites you to eat, lest you spend an embarrassing moment
- There is no "perfect" way to behave, so don't worry. Relaxing can be difficult, but it will get easier as time goes on.
- Don't even think about showing up at his house in a drunken state. It is a very serious lack of respect, especially if it is in order to cause arguments and problems.
- Be serious. Don't clown.