Trust can be the single most important factor in building successful relationships. A person who has someone to trust when feeling vulnerable can rest assured that everything will be okay. You can build trust in your relationships if you are willing to put in the effort. This process requires making a commitment and having trustworthy behavior.
Method 1 of 4: Become a Trusted Person
Step 1. Learn to keep your word
One of the most important steps in building a solid foundation of trust is keeping your word. Even if it is something insignificant. Canceling or not fulfilling what you promise will cause small fractures in your reliability.
Although it may seem to you that missing a commitment from time to time does not matter, repeatedly failing does. Over time, people can come to perceive you as someone who is not worthy of their trust
Step 2. Keep your promises
Trust means that people count on you in the long run. Therefore, when you promise someone something, you must keep it.
- If you can't keep a promise, talk to that person personally and explain why you can't keep what you promised.
- If your promise was on a very important matter, an explanation may not be enough. You may need to make a new promise to make it up to that person. Make sure you keep this new promise no matter what happens.
- Don't minimize the original promise. As small or insignificant as a promise may seem, keep in mind that it can mean a lot to the other person. If you break the promise, you can seriously disappoint her.
Step 3. Be consistent
An important detail to strengthen your reliability is to keep your word several times over a long period. By definition, a trustworthy person is one who can almost always be counted on.
Keep in mind that you must keep your word more than once to build the solid foundation of trust you want in your relationships
Method 2 of 4: Be Honest
Step 1. Tell the truth whenever you can
There are certain situations in which telling the whole truth may not be the most ethical option. It might not even be the best strategy for building trust in your relationships. Now, in most cases, honesty is really the best policy.
- Perhaps the most important time to tell the truth is when you would benefit from a lie. If you are able to tell the truth at your own risk, you show that you really care about your relationship with the other person. In addition, it shows them that you care more about their well-being than yours.
- For example, imagine that a friend lends you a book and you spill coffee on it. You could tell him that you lost it, or you could find another copy and pretend nothing happened. But it is important that you tell your friend what really happened. A damaged book may not be a big deal, but the risk of the truth coming out (or your friend realizing you are lying to them) will break trust.
Step 2. If you lie, admit it
Sometimes lying is unavoidable. Other times it happens without even thinking about it. If you lie to a person, it is best to confess the lie as soon as you can. Then explain your reasons and make your regret sincere.
If you are discovered, do not deny it, because if you do it would be like telling another lie and you will undermine confidence even more
Step 3. Speak from the heart
When you feel that you have lied to someone, either to prevent them from suffering or to exonerate yourself from an unfavorable response, seek to focus on an anchor point. Pick a virtue that the person has and emphasize it as you communicate.
- Encourage that anchor of generosity instead of exaggerating the bad news you need to get across.
- Be sure to offer your willingness to listen. It may be helpful to start your statements as follows: "It seems to me" or "I think", making it clear that this is your perception of the truth. This shows that you are open to other points of view and can help preserve trust in the relationship.
- Here's an example. If you need to let a friend know that they made a mistake, explain what went wrong using neutral and non-judgmental language. Focus on their strengths, the value of their friendship, and, if possible, how you can redeem the situation. Then, ask for his version of events and listen carefully, but don't tell him that everything is fine if that is not true.
- The conversation can unfold as follows: "Beryl, I think you made a significant mistake in our last report. I understand that you have been under a lot of pressure with this new project and I know that this mistake does not overshadow your talents or abilities. However, I think we should inform the client immediately and offer him a new report. "
Step 4. Express your feelings
People who only convey concrete facts come across as cold and distant. This type of attitude does not stimulate confidence.
You probably think that it is easier to mechanically repeat the events as they happened according to your perspective. However, if you don't add a little compassion and understanding to your words, people can come to think that you rejoice in the suffering of others
Method 3 of 4: Be open
Step 1. Offer information
When a moment of confusion arises, consider whether you need to provide more information. It is often a good idea to offer more data to show that you are not withholding the information. Here's an example:
- Imagine that a couple has just started their relationship. If one person asks the other "How was your day?" And the answer is simply "Good", this does not help to build trust because no crucial information has been shared.
- Now, imagine another answer to that same question: "Well, I had a doctor's appointment today. I thought everything was going to be fine as usual, but the doctor suspects that I might have a heart murmur. He told me that it is not confirmed yet. 100% but he wants to take some tests next week. I don't know if I should be so concerned. " This response suggests an openness and helps build trust.
- In this case, the couple will worry about hearing from the doctor even if he or she does not have the final results yet. The omission impairs communication in the relationship. A person may be concerned about the results of their tests throughout the week and their partner may not understand why they are so tense. Most likely, your partner would like to offer their help.
Step 2. Don't leave out important details
Similarly, the main reason why it is best not to omit important details is the difficulty of maintaining a series of omissions. People will start to discover contradictions in your version and you will lose credibility (even if you only omit certain things).
If you really want to build trust, tell people what they need or want to know
Step 3. If you keep secrets, admit you do
You shouldn't have to give up your deepest and most secret feelings just to be trustworthy. Everyone has the right to control their personal information. The key to being trustworthy while maintaining your privacy is setting clear boundaries.
For example, you might say to someone: "I'm not ready to share my feelings on that matter right now, but you can rest easy because you have nothing to worry about." This is a good opportunity for the other person to show understanding and patience; In addition, it brings a sense of security to the relationship (which is the most important thing). It is better to opt for this rather than being dishonest or unclear to prevent something private from coming to light
Method 4 of 4: Show Your Integrity
Step 1. Keep the secrets they entrust to you
Never tell someone else's story if they don't want it to be known. If you do, you will betray their trust.
Sometimes we let the words slip out of us when we are under pressure, tired, or not thinking clearly. If this happens to you, you should immediately come forward and ask for forgiveness. In this way, the other person will not find out from third parties that you have been talking about their private things. In addition, you can take advantage to minimize any damage you may have caused
Step 2. Show your loyalty
Loyalty refers to your ability to protect and defend others. You must be loyal in the presence and, above all, in the absence of that person.
- Trust is solid when a person recognizes that you are loyal. Additionally, you can build trust by putting that person's well-being before your own.
- For example, you can earn your coworker's trust by staying after dismissal time to help him on a project, even if you don't get credit for the work you do.
Step 3. Keep your feelings under control
You can earn the respect and admiration of others by learning to control your emotions. It's hard to trust someone whose emotions are unpredictable or unstable.
- There is a study by Fortune magazine that shows that those who regulate and express their emotions appropriately are more likely to gain the trust of others than those who do not.
- For example, try not to get upset when people make small mistakes, as doing so will lower their trust in you.
- If you are feeling emotionally overwhelmed, be aware of the signals you send and try to relax them. Loosen your fists, relax your jaw, and release tension from your muscles.
- Focus on your breathing to better manage your emotions. Focus your attention on the sensation you experience as you breathe. You don't need to think about your breathing or try to change it. Just experience the sensation. If you find that you are becoming distracted, slowly return to your thoughts and focus on your breathing again.
- If you learn to use these techniques to better manage your emotions, people will be able to predict your reactions. This will show that you are emotionally trustworthy and help build trust.
Step 4. Avoid abusive behavior
Some behaviors seriously erode trust and should be avoided. The following actions are deplorable and require a lot of effort on your part to restore trust:
- Humiliate or demean your partner
- Isolate yourself from others
- Threatening someone or physically hurting others
- You should avoid these types of behaviors at all. If you make the mistake of mistreating someone in any way, apologize immediately. Make your promise to improve and make sure you keep it over time.
Step 5. Use assertive communication
Instead of indulging in abusive or aggressive behavior, try to adopt an assertive communication style. This means that you should express your needs directly and with great respect, while also addressing the needs and opinions of others.
- Assertive communication involves saying "no" when you don't want to do something and learning to control your emotions.
- It also means sharing your feelings and opinions openly but without belittling or intimidating others.
- For example, imagine that your neighbor is listening to loud music. An aggressive approach would be to go to his house and yell at him, "Turn down the noise or I'll call the police! Idiot!" An assertive approach would be to knock on the door and calmly say, "Hi, it's a bit late and I have to go to bed. Could you please lower the volume on the music?" With this, you will let your neighbor know that he is causing you a problem without insulting or threatening him.
Step 6. Make a promise
If you cheat on someone and they discover you or disappoint them in any way, make a promise to change your behavior in the future. Additionally, you must consistently honor this promise as time passes to regain their trust.
- If you make a promise, trust is going to be restored in the short term.
- If you just apologize, you won't have much of an effect on trust in the long run.
- Beware of self-deception. You have probably convinced yourself that something you did or said was honest. However, if someone else observes the situation objectively, they may see otherwise. If you live observing reality as you wish it were, you will not be able to understand the perspective of others regarding certain behaviors or words. If others perceive your words or actions as unreliable, trust will be broken.
- If you are trying to build trust as a company or organization that handles confidential information, you will need to maintain confidentiality.
- Deceptive acts destroy trust. If you're being dishonest for any reason, ask yourself what you hope to get out of acting that way. On the other hand, ask yourself if you really like behaving like this (your answer is most likely negative). If you have convinced yourself that this is the only way to relate to others, it is probably time to brush up on your social skills.
- In some cases, people who often betray the trust of others may be suffering from a mental disorder, uncontrollable anger or other related problems. If this is your case, you may need to see a therapist to provide you with the appropriate help.