You have realized your true sexuality, and you have accepted it, now you have decided to come out of the closet. You may want to stop and think about whether you are doing the right thing by trusting some people right now. The important thing is to know if you are ready, then choose the first person to tell them, thinking about how supportive they are, and then decide if you would like some of your other friends to know. If you are in a gay or lesbian relationship, your partner will support you through this process.
Steps
Step 1. You are definitely making a brave decision, and you will be much more happy in the long run that if you try to hide it.
Nothing is more important than being positive about your sexuality. Before you wait for others to do so, learn to accept yourself. - If you are not comfortable with the idea of being publicly gay, bisexual or lesbian, think about it carefully. Not everyone is ready to get rid of old prejudices, but by going out and being a visible member of the community, you are doing something to create social change and acceptance. Although some may initially feel uncomfortable or strange with your revelation, the happiest and most authentic life is only possible if you are open with those around you.
Step 2. You must be prepared
Think about your family, your friends, co-workers, and community before opening up to any of them. Do any of these people display homophobic behavior (remember that being opposed to homosexuality is not considered homophobic behavior)? Many religions do not accept homosexuality, and although the beliefs of others must be respected, there is no reason to tolerate religions or religious people who promote intolerance. It may take them some time to get used to accepting it, in the same way that you did. You can be pretty sure that the first people you tell will be positive and understanding, and wait until you are more confident to tell others. It can help to tell someone you know is gay. Your parents might take it well, but they might not. It is something that you should consider, if they do not take it well, think that they are from a different generation and that they do not really think that it is the best for you.
- Be prepared to receive questions. They may be afraid of how people will treat you, or if you will never have children, these are real concerns, so treat them seriously. If they are religious, find some material in advance that allows you to treat the matter from a positive point of view. Referring them to a religious leader who reflects a positive and healthy outlook on lesbian and gay relationships may help.
- If you are in a situation where you think you could be disowned or even banned, wait until you are confident and independent before coming out.
Step 3. Choose well the first person to tell
Step 4. Start telling other friends as you become more confident with your identity
You don't have to tell everyone at once; Everyone reacts differently, so tell people separately at the right time, when you have privacy and enough time to discuss it.
Step 5. Choose the appropriate method so that others will know
You can say it in a serious conversation or say it casually to show that you have accepted the idea and are comfortable with it. If you want it to be a conversation with a certain attitude, take a deep breath and say so.
If you don't want to make a big topic out of this, try to bring it into the conversation. If you don't pose it as a catastrophe, the more relaxed people will be when you tell them
Step 6. Be smart
Depending on your environment, you may have to face non-acceptance, it is important that you are prepared for potentially difficult times. Make sure you are not in danger and prepare to face what may come your way. The entire community does not need to know unless you are comfortable with the idea that everyone knows, and you have enough security and independence to do so. Unfortunately, you may be in a situation where you depend on someone or something that could possibly change if you come out as gay. In a situation like this, you may have to change what you depend on before you begin to disclose your sexual status. It may mean that you have to find your own home, or seek to move to a place where being gay is not a risk for you.
Step 7. You must be proud of who you are
Keep your head up and don't let anyone make you feel embarrassed. Don't apologize or allow yourself to feel ashamed of your condition when you tell someone about it. Learn not to care what others say or think of you. You should be positive and try to show that you are happy being the way you are so that anyone who feels disappointed or sad about your discovery will know that you are good and happy. This is really important to show all those who love you, that we all have difficult moments trying to imagine that someone can be happy doing what they do not want, heterosexual people sometimes have a hard time understanding how a homosexual person can be happy. Just as rock climbing people have a hard time understanding those who are happy sleeping in a hammock on their days off, heterosexuals have a hard time understanding how a gay person can be happy. All you need to do is assure them that you are.
Advice
- Be patient. Remember that even yourself took time to accept your sexuality, so it may be that others occupy that time as well. Be moderate - it's okay to find pride within yourself, but don't try to force others to think or have your same beliefs. Some people may find it difficult, but don't let them disrespect you. If that happens, just ignore that person-
- Show some symbols of pride if you can, the flag with the six colors of the rainbow and the lavender triangle upside down. You can wear a rainbow necklace, bracelet, or headband.
- Try to make friends with new people: gay, straight, or bisexual; Sometimes people can be very understanding and help you get through this situation in a better way in your life. Use the Internet to meet other gay people who can support you. Don't take things personally if people ask you about your sexuality, look at it as an opportunity to integrate into the LGBT community (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender).
- Prepare a response for people trying to hook up with you. If someone is flirting with you, you should respond to them as you see fit. In an environment where you may not want to disclose your sexual orientation, you could say, "Thank you, but I have a relationship with someone else."
- If you really want to be totally open, you can say something like "Thanks, but I'm already fucked. MY partner and I have been together for …" or "I'm flattered, but I'm gay / lesbian / straight" or "Thanks, but I'm not dating. with men / women ".
Warnings
- Telling everyone about it sometimes is not the best thing to do. Make sure you are safe, and that you are not breaking any law that prohibits a homosexual relationship.
- Keep your safety in mind when choosing the moment and how to come out of the closet. If you live in a very conservative place, you could ask other members of the community for advice so that you can learn from their experiences.
- If you are being bullied at school or at work, don't be afraid to ask for help from authority figures.
- Be careful with your relationships with friends. Be respectful of family and acquaintances, and notice any changes in their behavior towards you. If you see that they feel uncomfortable or uncomfortable with your homosexuality, give them time. If it doesn't, handle it by talking to them as soon as you can.
- Avoid gossip! People may think they shouldn't trust you if they find out from others. If your decision will have a definite effect on certain people in your life, you must tell those people first. A good example: your girl or boy. If you've been dating someone straight, you need to let them know first. Don't keep fooling them, it will make them feel foolish and waste their time which is not fair of you.
- The chance of unpleasant clashes will be greater after you come out of the closet, but be strong, and remember that you don't need to be accepted by anyone except yourself.
- Don't bother answering people who say things like "you're going to hell." It is best to respond with something like "I appreciate your concern, but I feel comfortable with who I am and I feel that you see it that way" and get out of there. It's not worth stressing over someone like that.