Ending a marriage is not easy, but it is more difficult to stay in a relationship that you no longer want. Fortunately, the figure of divorce in Mexican law has been around since the 19th century and has been adapted to modern times. In the following lines you will find what you need to know to move to a new stage of your life.
Part 1 of 3: Prepare Emotionally
Step 1. Be honest with yourself
If you are thinking about getting divorced and have not made up your mind completely, ask yourself the right questions: Are you happy in your marriage? Do you still love your partner? Is there violence in your relationship?
Do not be carried away by old-fashioned attitudes, such as "a good woman never leaves her husband", but also not by the pain of the moment
Step 2. Don't feel guilty
Whether there is a reason for separating from your partner, or you simply don't love them anymore, be consistent with your feelings. It's okay to want to be single again, at any point in your life.
Step 3. Don't always act like a victim
Even if you have been abused or have become aware of an infidelity on the part of your partner, it is healthier to start the separation process with maturity and decision, than to think again and again about the reasons or episodes of your suffering.
Step 4. Put distance
If you and your partner own a property, you may want to stay so you don't lose it, but if he or she doesn't want to leave it, do it yourself. Otherwise, you will only prolong a situation that can lead to self-destructive behavior, tension, and aggressiveness.
Step 5. Talk to your children
The most important thing, according to the experts, is to make it clear that it is not their fault. Give them a chance to decide who they want to stay with during the process, and respect their decision, as difficult as it may be.
Part 2 of 3: Going through the legal process
Step 1. Raise money for paperwork
In itself, the issuance of the documents you need costs little more than a thousand pesos, but you will require a lawyer and perhaps additional funds for derivative procedures, such as the deed of a property.
Step 2. Lean on institutional programs
The National Institute of Women, the IMSS, the ISSSTE and certain civil organizations have various programs to support you if you are in a difficult personal or economic situation. Through them you can obtain legal advice and detailed information on what you should do.
Step 3. Find out about the type of divorce that applies to you
The legislation in this regard can be found in the Civil Code of your entity. In general, however, there are three types of divorce in Mexico: administrative (colloquially known as express), voluntary and necessary.
- The divorce administrative it is requested before a judge of the Civil Registry, when a series of requirements are met. The main ones are that you and your partner both want a divorce and have not had children.
- They also need to agree on how the assets will be divided (if they are married for community property) and have been together for at least one year.
- The divorce voluntary It is appropriate if you have minor children, or if you do not agree with your partner about how the assets will be distributed.
- It is necessary that you deliver before a judge of the familiar a application divorce and a agreement that details who will take care of the children, where each spouse will live while the process is carried out, the pension that one will give to the other, if necessary, and the way in which the children will see the father who does not have parental authority.
- The divorce necessary It takes place if you demand it, even if your partner does not agree, as long as he or she has incurred any of the causes provided by law, such as abandonment of home, violence, adultery, alcoholism, contagious disease, separation for a certain time, or the refusal to contribute towards the expenses of the children.
Step 4. Be realistic
In most cases, things don't go smoothly, so don't be in a precarious situation "just while."
- Solve your basic needs. Do not trust that you will soon receive a pension, even if you are entitled to it: better take the first steps towards emotional and financial independence.
- Take into account the timeframes that the process will take. An administrative divorce is quick (between 15 and 30 days), but the voluntary divorce can take two to three months and the necessary one more than a year.
- If you or your partner is absent at meetings of agreement set by the court, the process is delayed for several weeks. Try not to be the one who does it and do everything possible so that your partner also attends.
- Make sacrifices. Whether it's for your own well-being or that of your children, don't hold onto material goods that might not be so important in the end. If you've lost their trust, don't try to manipulate them to gain parental authority, or to force them to spend time with you. It is better to rebuild that relationship with patience.
Part 3 of 3: Letting Go of the Past
Step 1. Seek professional help
If you have a hard time admitting or dealing with your emotions, don't be ashamed to consult a psychologist. There are also institutional programs, universities and civil associations that can offer you this kind of support; for example, through support groups of people who have been through the same thing.
Step 2. Set personal goals
The best way to move forward is to focus on your own projects. Focus on what you can do to improve your children's lives. If you have time, find yourself a hobby - artistic activities like painting are a good way to deal with emotions.
Step 3. Be positive
As in everything, after a divorce it is better to maintain an open attitude towards the future, than to feel that the best years of your life have passed. It is easier for you to find the end of the period of mourning that way.
- Lean on your loved ones. It's understandable that you need some time to yourself, but don't isolate yourself too much either. Your friends or family know you and will do their best to distract you. If you think it will do you good, spend some time at your parents' house: they are together or divorced like you, you will appreciate their efforts better and you can take advantage of their experience.
- Live your duel. It is normal to experience feelings of anguish and anger, as well as to try to suppress them. However, each emotion is a step in your mind to heal itself: don't be afraid to feel those emotions or find ways to express them.