Doubts about the paternity of a child can be stressful. They can cause problems for you, your child, your family, your partner, and possibly other partners you've had. However, rest assured that you can find out who the father of your child is quickly and easily. You can tell if the child is really yours by getting a prenatal test or postnatal tests.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Perform a Prenatal Test
Step 1. Get a PPNI test
Ask your doctor to test your blood and that of the potential father with the Non-Invasive Prenatal Paternity test. Let the doctor take the sample any time after the 8th week of pregnancy, which will ensure that the test can detect the baby's DNA in your blood.
The PPNI has an accuracy rate of 99.9%
Step 2. Have an amniocentesis
Talk to your doctor about having amniocentesis, which is a procedure in which a small sample of amniotic fluid is removed from your uterus with a needle. You will need their consent to undergo the procedure because it carries potential risks including miscarriage. Ask your doctor for an amniocentesis during your second trimester, between 14 and 20 weeks of pregnancy.
Amniocentesis carries the following risks: amniotic fluid leakage, miscarriage, needle injury, entry of the baby's blood cells into your bloodstream (rare), and infection
Step 3. Request a placental tissue test with chorionic villus sampling
If you are concerned about the risks of amniocentesis, ask your doctor to do a chorionic villus sampling, or CVS, to establish who the father of your child is. CVS, which involves taking a small sample of the baby's placenta, should be performed between the 11th and 13th week of pregnancy. Talk to your doctor about the best way to obtain CVS for you, either through the vagina with a speculum or through the abdomen with a small needle. Review your lab results within 7-10 days.
- A chorionic villus is a small part of the placenta that forms from the fertilized egg, so it usually has the same DNA as the fetus.
- Risk factors for CVS are rare and include: miscarriage and limb deformities of the baby.
Method 2 of 3: Perform Postnatal Testing
Step 1. Use the buccal scraping test
Talk to your doctor or medical professional about using a cheek or buccal swab test to confirm the identity of the child's father. Take the test in a medical laboratory where an assistant can help you. Gently rub the inside of your cheek, the baby's cheek, and the potential father's with the cotton swab provided. Then give them to the lab technician and wait for the results.
- Mouth swabs can cost up to $ 1,000.
- Consider using a buccal scraping, as it is the least invasive form of paternity testing for everyone involved. Buccal scraping is as accurate as blood tests.
Step 2. Use a commercial scratch test
Visit your local pharmacy and ask your pharmacist about over-the-counter mouth swab DNA test kits. Follow the directions on the package and take a sample from yourself and your child. Ask the prospective father to provide you with a sample on the prepackaged swab. Then send the swabs to the designated lab and wait for the results.
Step 3. Collect umbilical cord blood to establish paternity
Talk to your obstetrician about testing your baby's umbilical cord blood to see if it really is from the man you think it is. Let her know that you and the father will provide blood samples before labor begins. When the baby is born, let them take a small sample of blood from the umbilical cord to confirm paternity.
Umbilical cord blood tests can be more expensive than other types of postnatal tests
Step 4. Consider hair tests
If you can't get a cheek or blood sample, collect hair from the potential father. Ask him to give you 5 to 10 hair bulbs with visible follicles, so the lab can extract enough DNA to let you know if he is the father. Keep in mind that hair tests are much less accurate than other types of DNA tests. You may only want to use them if nothing else works.
Method 3 of 3: Deal With Paternity Testing
Step 1. Ask the prospective father for a sample
Invite your child's potential father to sit with you in a neutral location, such as a restaurant or park. Tell him that you would like to take a paternity test and explain the reasons why you think he could be the father. Avoid using insulting and offensive language, which can make it more difficult to obtain a blood, hair, or other DNA test.
For example, say "Hi Sam, I know things haven't been that easy between us, but we could meet at the local coffee shop for a few minutes. I know we were wrong and we had sex and I wonder if you could be the father of my baby. instead of Chris. I just want to talk about the possibility of having a DNA test done to confirm who my baby is. I understand this may be difficult for you. Please take the time you need to decide about our reunion”
Step 2. Talk to your child about the paternity test
If your child is older than 4 or 5 years old and they are going through a paternity test, take some time to talk with him. Let him know that a test will be done to find out a few things about his health. Make sure to use language appropriate for the child's age and use words that don't scare them. This can make it easier to get your child's sample and talk to him about who his father is after the test.
For example, say something like, “Ari, we're going to the doctor today for a test. You don't have to worry, it won't hurt and it will only take a second. The test will give us information about your father and your health, which we can use to keep you healthy and happy in the future
Step 3. Let your friends and family support you
Finding out who the father of your child is is probably stressful for you. Talk to your close friends and family about how you feel about the situation. Ask them for suggestions on the best way to handle situations you might face when you know who the father is. Let them help you as much as they can, for example taking care of your child when you meet him.
Step 4. Seek professional advice
As part of the test, or if you are just considering it, meet regularly with a professional counselor. Talk about your feelings and concerns about the tests and the implications of determining who the father of your child is. Having a neutral and external opinion can help you better manage the emotional aspects of knowing if the child is really his.
Warnings
- If possible, choose non-invasive paternity testing or wait until after the child is born to find out if it really is who you think it is. This can minimize the risk of side effects from invasive procedures such as amniocentesis and CVS, including miscarriage.
- Use a laboratory or test accredited by the American Association of Blood Banks to ensure you get the most accurate results.