Trial and error may have shown you that scolding your kids for not doing homework doesn't pay off. Due to the stress and frustration that often accompany parenting, you may resort to this tactic despite knowing that it will not give you the results you want. When parents constantly scold, children begin to disconnect from them. Therefore, you need helpful strategies to encourage your children to handle their responsibilities without scolding them. By using your voice in the correct way, developing a system of practical chores, and setting clear consequences and rewards, you can get your kids up to speed in no time.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Use Your Voice Effectively
Step 1. Be clear about what you expect (ahead of time)
You may think that your children know what to expect, but that may not be the case. Giving clear and detailed instructions for what you want can prevent you from feeling frustrated when your kids don't do homework the way you want them to.
For example, if you want your child to clean his room, avoid saying "Clean your room!" Instead, say "You have to separate your clean clothes from the dirty ones, pick up all your toys and trash from the floor, and make your bed."
Step 2. Use humor to ease tension
Almost everyone does their chores better, and has a good time doing them, when they are not stressed and feeling happy. Using humor to remind your children that they need to do their chores can set a good mood for a good day and get them to do it without the need to fight.
For example, you can write a note about the dog reminding your child that he is hungry and needs to eat
Step 3. Develop short, simple one-word reminders
Children usually don't want to listen to long lectures whenever they forget to do something. Instead, create direct one-word reminders that can help them remember their chores when they forget them.
For example, saying “cat” to get fed or “homework” to remind them to finish their chores may be enough to encourage them to do their chores without the need to start a fight
Step 4. Set the example by doing your own chores in a timely manner
Leading by example is one of the most effective methods of teaching children. Chances are, your child will put off his chores or dislike doing chores if he sees you act the same way. Instead, do your own chores in a timely manner and show her the kind of attitude and performance you hope your child will have.
Method 2 of 3: Develop a Clear System
Step 1. Be realistic in selecting age-appropriate chores
You can't expect your toddler to wash and fold his clothes, and you can't expect your teenager to be able to do nothing but make his bed. Selecting chores that are age appropriate is key, as you don't want your kids to get frustrated or bored because the chores are too difficult or too easy.
As your children grow, the amount of chores and their complexity increase. For example, elementary school children can help you fold even pairs of socks, put dirty clothes in the basket, and feed pets. Older children can wash dishes, wash their clothes, and keep the house tidy
Step 2. Show how each task should be done
Children, especially younger ones, generally learn best by watching chores being accomplished rather than simply listening to verbal directions. Therefore, in addition to explaining the procedure to them, show them how to run it as well.
Step 3. Help them set a schedule
Most children have schedules and routines, and homework should be included. The more you are able to fit a task into an existing routine, the more likely it is that your children will complete it without arguing.
For example, ask your child to walk the dog when he comes home from school before he engages in another activity. This way you can avoid getting upset when you have to leave an activity of your choice to complete the task
Step 4. Set a timer
If your kids tend to put off their chores, set a timer to give them time to complete them. If they don't complete the task in 20 minutes, for example, they will not receive an allowance or will be rewarded for doing their chores.
Setting a timer can also help motivate your kids, as having to complete chores within a period of time can feel like a game. Say something like, “The stopwatch is set to chime in 20 minutes. Hurry up with those dishes! " to motivate your child
Method 3 of 3: Establish Consequences and Rewards
Step 1. Explain the consequences of not finishing chores
Be direct and clear about the consequences of not finishing chores. While you shouldn't lock yourself up, you also shouldn't let your kids know what will happen as a result of their disobedience.
For a youth, an appropriate consequence may be not giving him the car keys or not allowing him to spend time with his friends. A consequence for a younger child may be not feeding him or keeping his favorite toy for a short period of time
Step 2. Be consistent and move on
Parents who do not require their children to complete their homework usually find that they are ignoring it and wait for the parent to do it for them. Instead, make sure they finish what you expect of them.
Also, when you communicate that there will be a consequence if they don't finish their chores, make sure you really apply it through discipline. Your kids won't take you seriously if you make empty threats that you never apply
Step 3. Praise them when they fulfill their responsibilities
Your children will be more likely to feel encouraged to do a chore when they hear you say that they are doing a good job. This is particularly true when they are learning to do a new task. Even if the end result is less than you expected, hearing you say you appreciate their effort is helpful.
- Praise your children by saying things like "You did a good job cleaning your room!" or "Glad to see that the dog's food container is full!"
- Also, resist the urge to correct what has been completed, as doing so can make your child feel that whatever he does will never be good enough for your expectations.
Step 4. Offer them a tip
The prospect of offering them a tip is usually an effective motivator for children. However, one of the best ways to encourage your kids through tipping is to offer them a commission-based system. In other words, instead of offering them a certain amount each week, just pay them for the work they have completed.
Additionally, don't give them their allowance if they haven't completed their chores. Not having money to do the things they want to do will remind them that they have no funds because they didn't do what you expected
Step 5. Negotiate rewards and consequences with your children
If your kids have helped you develop a set of consequences and rewards that motivate them, chances are they will get through their chores. Sit down with your kids once a year or every few months and go over your discipline and reward system. Do the rewards and consequences match your children's interests or developmental status?
- For example, if you have a 7-year-old who is addicted to a certain cartoon show, you might reward him by offering a tip that goes into a fund to buy a life-size toy of the show's main character. However, if your child does not complete homework, part of the discipline could be taking away television privileges for a day.
- In the example above, if the child is no longer interested in watching TV shows, the rewards and consequences will not be as motivating. Repair your system regularly to make sure it encourages your child to complete their assignments.