It is normal to be afraid of pedophiles, but fortunately there are ways to keep your child safe. For example, keep an eye out for adults who want to spend time alone with your child or the people around him that he is uncomfortable with. If you identify a pedophile, you have to take action and call the authorities. If you pay attention to those who interact with your child, you will surely do a great job to keep them safe!
Method 1 of 4: Pay Attention to Signs of Child Sexual Harassment
Step 1. Keep an eye on the person who is especially interested in your child
Generally, the first thing a pedophile does is establish a bond with the child and try to get to know him or her closely. A pedophile may ask you questions like "What is your favorite food?" or "What is your favorite game?" in an attempt to find out as much as possible about the child.
- Keep in mind that many people may ask you these types of questions, which does not mean that they are pedophiles. For example, it is natural that your family and friends want to get to know your child better. Also, the new teacher or babysitter is likely to ask questions like that.
- See if someone seems determined to get to know your child personally, especially if they are not part of their environment. For example, be cautious if a stranger at the grocery store seems determined to meet the child.
Step 2. Pay attention if someone asks your child to do an activity that involves being alone
If someone tries to be alone with the child, it can be a warning sign. It is probably about the seduction of minors. For example, they may say “Hi Sam, I have some new puppies at my house. Would you like to come and play with them when you go home? " You should say, “Sounds great. I'm going too". If you complain, it is a red flag.
- Maybe your son has a friend whose father makes you uneasy. If he offers to drive him home after a school activity, you can say, "No thanks, I'll be leaving work early to pick up the kids."
- If someone wants to interact with your child unintentionally, they will not object to you or another adult being present as well.
- If an adult invites the child to spend the night at home, it is a red flag.
Step 3. Pay attention if someone shares inappropriate information with your child
Pedophiles often have little or no regard for social boundaries. If your child tells you that a person is telling him personal or inappropriate things, take that as a red flag. Adults should not share private information with children.
For example, you should be concerned if someone tells your child details about their sex life or love relationships
Step 4. Be on the lookout for any improper touching
Pedophiles tend to touch the child casually when you are present. It's about making him understand that physical contact is good. Generally, the intuition of children is quite solid when they feel that something is not correct. See if your child resists or stiffens if someone puts their arm around him or tries to hug him.
- A pedophile will likely insist on touching, kissing, or tickling even if the child is visibly indifferent.
- Never force your child to be affectionate to someone who makes him feel uncomfortable around him.
Step 5. Be careful with someone who buys things for children
The pedophile will try to gain your trust. Since children are often impressed by gifts, the pedophile will try to buy their attention. See if someone buys your child candy, toys, or clothes without asking for your permission.
Of course, it's natural for grandparents or close friends to give your child gifts. Be wary if someone you don't know well gives the child things for no reason (for example, when it is not their birthday or holidays)
Step 6. Pay attention to the people who interact with your child on the internet
Pedophiles often attempt to approach children online. Make sure to monitor how he spends his time at the computer. If you are part of a chat room or a social network, you should know who you are in contact with.
- Teach your child that they should not give anyone their personal information such as their full name, address, phone number or the name of the school they attend.
- Be on the lookout for any signs of child sexual harassment, such as telling the child that you want to meet him personally, asking him to keep secrets, and requesting photographs.
Method 2 of 4: Watch for the profile of a pedophile
Step 1. Disregard common myths
Generally, people believe that pedophiles are unknown or that they look a certain way. Instead, keep in mind that it's actually someone you know, a family member, a friend, a teacher, or a coach. Take the time to get to know each of the people who interact with your child.
- Understand that there is no such thing as a “typical” child molester. Many of them are friendly and outgoing.
- A pedophile can be married or single. You may or may not have children of your own.
- They are generally men, but not always.
- A pedophile has no characteristic physical features. It can be of any race, ethnic group, or gender. They can also be young, middle-aged, or older adults.
- You can have a higher education and be respected in society.
Step 2. Be careful around someone who develops unusual relationships with children
Normally, pedophiles have a “special friend” who is a child, which is usually different from year to year. If you know an adult who talks about a relationship of these characteristics, it can be a red flag.
- Often times, a pedophile prefers to spend most of his time with children and shows little interest in interacting with other adults.
- You may ask the children to keep a secret from you.
Step 3. Pay attention to any inappropriate talk about sex
Pedophiles often tell "red jokes" in front of children to provoke a reaction or get their attention. Also, they make inappropriate comments about a child's body parts, they can say something like, "Look, who's growing the chichis!" Another red flag is when someone talks about a child with phrases of sexual connotation, such as "Look how hot you are!" or tells a child that he is "sexy."
Step 4. Stay tuned if someone seems to be trying to gain your trust
The pedophile's innate instinct makes him try to get his parents to lower their guard. Pay attention if someone is too eager to show you that they are trustworthy. This includes someone who constantly repeats that they are trustworthy or someone who claims that they are very friendly several times. Also, he may try to convince you that your child loves him very much.
Method 3 of 4: Talk to Your Child About Danger Signs
Step 1. Trust what your child tells you
It is very strange for a child to lie about sexual abuse. If your child tells you that they have been abused and even if someone has made them feel uncomfortable, believe them. You must trust what he tells you even if it is a relative or someone you think you know well.
Many times the instinct of children exceeds that of adults. This is likely because they are not concerned with being polite. Listen to him if he tells you that someone is giving him bad vibes
Step 2. Keep a calm tone of voice when talking about unpleasant situations
The idea is that the child does not panic when they talk about abuse. Try to keep your voice calm and friendly. Avoid raising your voice and keep a cool head even if you are upset. Your child will be more likely to listen to you if you are neither upset nor angry.
Step 3. Explain what improper touching is
Explain to the child that there are parts of his body that are private. Teach her the name of each part of her body using the appropriate terms so she can express herself and ask questions about any concerns about undue touching. Let him know that no one should touch his private parts unless it is a doctor and always with the presence of a trusted adult.
- Tell them that if someone wants to look at or touch their private parts, they should tell a trusted adult right away. You can say, "If someone wants to look at your vagina, you should say no and then come find me or a teacher you like to tell us that someone has made you feel uncomfortable."
- Explain that no one should show you the parts of your body that are private. Tell the child, “No person should show you their penis. If someone wants to do that, you say “no” and you go find a trusted adult”.
Step 4. Teach your child to set limits
Explain that if someone makes you feel uncomfortable it is okay to say "no." Teach him to say something like, "No, I don't do that, I don't like it." You can say, “It's good to set limits when you're playing or if someone wants to touch you. Tell him you don't like what he wants to do."
- Tell the child, "If someone scares you or makes you feel uncomfortable, find a trusted adult and tell them what happened."
- Talk openly about sexual abuse and sexuality. You can say, “It's good that you talk to me and ask me questions. You have nothing to worry about, you will not be in trouble if you tell me that there is someone who scares you”.
- Tell the child not to keep secrets from other adults. Let him know that if someone asks him to keep a secret, he should tell you.
Method 4 of 4: Take Action If You Suspect Abuse
Step 1. Recognize the red flags
If you fear that your child has been in contact with a pedophile, you are probably concerned that they have hurt him or her. Stay tuned for the most frequent warning signs. Pay attention if your child:
- shows fear of physical contact;
- you start to have nightmares or some other problem sleeping;
- suddenly resists bathing;
- suddenly he is much less communicative.
Step 2. Rebuild your security
The first thing you have to do is make the child feel safe. Give him peace of mind by saying, “Now you are with me and I am going to take care of you. Don't worry, you are safe”. Let him do what he wants and don't force him to do something that he is uncomfortable with.
- For example, if he doesn't want to be left alone in the dark, let him stay with you.
- Avoid forcing him to associate with someone who seems to scare him.
Step 3. Contact the authorities
There are several ways to report a case of child sexual abuse. The law requires reporting even suspected cases of child abuse. Check the information on the internet https://apps.rainn.org/policy/ of the National Rape, Abuse and Incest Network (RAINN) or any similar entity in your country. If you are not sure about what to do or who to call, you can contact the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453 or any other similar one in your country. An expert will guide you through the process of making a report. All calls are confidential.
- Remember that a pedophile is often seen as a normal member of the community.
- Avoid accusing someone of being a child molester unless you are sure.
- Always trust your instincts. If you sense that someone has bad vibes, keep your child away from that person.
- A child abuser is not necessarily an adult.