In general, children can be disrespectful when they find themselves in situations that displease them or if they are dealing with other problems in their life. Most of the time, they just want to get your attention or test your limits. The most important thing to remember is to stay calm and treat them with respect. Identify why they are behaving in a certain way and speak it maturely.
Part 1 of 3: Coping in that moment as a parent
Step 1. Point out that behavior right away
If a child is disrespectful, you should acknowledge that behavior immediately. If you ignore it, you will encourage him to continue behaving like this until he catches your attention.
- For example, if he interrupts you when you're on the phone, you could say, "Honey, I know you're trying to get my attention, but I'm busy right now." This will show him that you see him and that you are not ignoring him.
- You could even add "… So you'll have to wait until it's done." This will tell him what to do in the meantime and promises that you won't forget about him.
Step 2. Give the child a reason
If you tell your child to stop without explanation, they may not see a reason to stop. Once you have identified what your child is doing, explain why their behavior is wrong or disrespectful. This will help you understand the need for good manners.
- Continuing with the telephone example, if he keeps interrupting you, say something like, “I'm on the phone. It's not okay to interrupt me when I'm talking to someone, because I can't give you my full attention. "
- You can also suggest an alternative behavior. For example, say something like "Can you wait for me to pause the conversation if you really need something?"
Step 3. Explain the consequences
If you try to talk rationally with disrespectful children and they keep misbehaving, you should explain the consequences of their actions. Then, if they continue to disrespect you, be sure to follow through with the consequences.
- Always carry out the consequences. If not, your child will not take you seriously next time and will continue to misbehave.
- Make sure you tell him a consequence that you can carry out without question. Think about it carefully and choose your words wisely.
- To have a greater impact, choose consequences directly related to your child's behavior that you want to change.
Step 4. Discipline him appropriately
If you have to discipline a child, make sure you do it appropriately. Not all forms of punishment work and the types of punishment depend on the age of the child and the severity of his behavior. For instance:
- Avoid physical punishment, such as spanking, which can be scary for a young child. Isolation is another form of punishment that you should avoid, because it does not allow him to accept his behavior.
- Ideally, punishment will teach children to connect, communicate, and overcome negative behaviors.
- Think less in terms of discipline and more in terms of consequences. If a child likes his favorite toy, you may not teach him why it is wrong to interrupt your conversation, but having him dry the dishes will show him the value of time.
Part 2 of 3: Respond now as a teacher
Step 1. Tell the child what he is supposed to do
As a teacher, especially if you work with young children, it is better to offer an alternative behavior than to scold a child for disobedience. Give him direct and clear instructions on how he should behave when you see him misbehaving.
- When a child misbehaves, explain how he should behave and tell him why the behavior you recommend is better.
- For example, if you see one of your students running through the pool, don't say "Mason, don't run." Rather, say "Mason, you will be safer if you walk in the pool, as you will avoid falling and hurting yourself."
- Children tend to be more receptive when told what to do rather than just scolding them for bad behavior.
Step 2. Take some time to think
Self-control time is no longer a popular disciplinary practice for young children, as isolating it can be frustrating. However, some time to think can get you out of a stressful situation. If you suspect that one of your students is misbehaving due to stress or overexertion, give them some time to think.
- Create private and cozy areas in your classroom where children can sit and relax if they interrupt you. Give them pillows, books, stuffed animals, and other relaxing items.
- The idea is that the child is not punished, but that he learns that he must better regulate his emotions if he wants to participate in the class.
- Discipline must be a learning opportunity. When you have a moment, tell the child why his behavior was disruptive and brainstorm how to best deal with it the next time he gets fussy or unruly in class.
- Parents should also benefit from thinking time. If you are a parent, you should have a designated space to think about your home where your child can go to calm down if it is difficult for him to regulate his emotions.
Step 3. Stay optimistic
Use optimistic phrases and avoid negative ones. Children may be disrespectful and feel disrespectful to them. Don't use phrases like “I'm not going to help you with that problem until you try to fix it yourself. This will make the child feel like they have done something wrong when they are struggling. Rather, say, “I think you will learn more if you try to solve the problem yourself first. Once you do, I can help you."
If you use positive phrases, you will reinforce the idea that you respect the child and that you treat him like an adult
Step 4. Don't take it personally
If a child treats you badly or disrespects you, don't take it personally. Teachers often feel stressed if children are mean to them or misbehave in class. Your student is likely just trying to exercise independence or is dealing with something else and taking it out on you.
- Children usually react hastily. Just because a child tells you "I hate you" doesn't make it true.
- Remember that children often disrespect their parents or authority figures as a way to test power structures.
- Do not get distracted. Stay focused on the behavior you want your child to improve and not on the punishment.
Step 5. Get help
If the situation does not improve, it may be time to seek help. The child may be dealing with something and not willing to discuss it with you. Also, maybe something is happening in your home and you need space to talk about it. Talk to the school principal or a counselor if you are concerned that a child may have an underlying problem that is preventing them from behaving well in class.
If the child trusts you, you might ask. However, don't betray her trust and tell her ahead of time that you could bring up the problem to the principal or counselor, depending on its severity
Part 3 of 3: Tackling the Deepest Issues
Step 1. You must prevent misconduct before it occurs
Sometimes the best way to discipline is simply to prevent. Look for things that trigger misbehavior and find ways to modify those situations to make the child more comfortable. Consider what causes the behavior and if there is a way that some of the child's requests can be fulfilled. Is there anything you can do later to avoid that kind of outburst?
- The most common reasons for tantrums are hunger, tiredness, fear, or confusion. If you will be in a situation that could trigger these problems, consider bringing snacks or toys for your child, or even hiring a babysitter.
- Let your child have some control. If their request is reasonable, consider considering it to show that you respect them. For example, if she loves her summer dress, you can let her wear it in the fall with a jacket.
- If you're feeling overwhelmed, ask a child psychologist for ways to change your child's behavior. Consider working at an orphanage or school to learn how to prevent such behavior.
Step 2. Understand the cause of the misconduct
You can't set appropriate limits and discipline if you don't understand why your child is misbehaving. Make an effort to get inside your child's head and understand the cause of their misbehavior.
- When your child is upset, connect with him on an emotional level. Say something like, “You seem to be feeling very upset. Why?"
- Maybe there are reasons you didn't think of. For example, if your child cries every night at bedtime, it may not be because of the darkness, but because he saw something scary on television. Talk about her fears and assure her that she is safe.
Step 3. Teach her empathy
Raising a child is about teaching positive behaviors and not just avoiding negative ones. One of the most important things you can teach a child is empathy. When your child misbehaves, tell him why the behavior is hurtful to others. If you can, help him relate to another person: this is the basis of empathy.
- For example, if he stole another student's pencil, you could say, “I know you liked the rabbit pencil you received for Easter. How would you feel if someone took it without asking? " Let me answer.
- Once your child has considered the other person's point of view, make them apologize. By having your child consider the reason for apologizing first, you will encourage empathic thinking.
Step 4. Give an example of appropriate behavior
Be the person you want your child to be. Have good manners. Treat others with kindness. Stay calm during difficult times. Talk about your emotions openly and show your child how to deal with things like sadness, anger, and other negative feelings in a constructive and appropriate way.
Setting an example is one of the best ways to teach children to be good. This is most effective for young children, who learn best from examples
Step 5. Don't assume anything
Take time to talk to him to find the real cause of the problem. If you assume the child is just grumpy, you may not respond so lovingly. If you think he is dealing with deeper issues, you may be tempted to justify his behavior.
- The difficult thing about assuming something is that it could cause you to treat a child in a different way, which does not always solve the problem.
- Whenever possible, be consistent with your consequences and your actions, but remember that you may need to modify them based on what you have learned.
Step 6. Avoid the power struggle
This exists because two people fight for who has power. Although you want to show your child that you have authority and should respect you, you want to do it in a calm and respectful way. Avoid raising your voice, yelling at him, or talking to him in the same way that he talks to you. If your child throws tantrums, they probably haven't developed good problem-solving skills. Assess and address his needs rather than forcing him to obey your rules.
- Sit the child down and talk about what is happening and how you can work together to fix it. If he continues to be disrespectful and refuses to engage in a mature conversation, then give him time to calm down and do not get into another argument.
- Don't let him manipulate you. Usually he will try to negotiate with you or manipulate you to get what he wants, but make sure you are firm while staying calm.
Step 7. Reinforce positive behavior
If you want your child to behave better, using positive reinforcement can help. Praise him for his small changes in his behavior. This can help you learn what behaviors are appropriate.
- Focus on the behaviors you want to change. For example, if your child interrupts others, explain why this is bad and then pay attention to small changes.
- For example, if you're on the phone and your child interrupts you again, they might shut up after the first time you ask. Although he interrupted you, he is trying to change.
- When you're done talking on the phone, praise him for this little change. Say something like "Isaac, I really appreciate that you stopped talking when I asked you to." In the end, you will learn what behaviors are desirable and act accordingly.
- If you have a child and you are concerned about their behavior, it may be helpful to call the school and talk to the teacher to see if your child misbehaves in class.
- Don't let your child stress you out, just always try to keep your voice down, don't yell.