Are you interested in getting married and having everything that comes with having a husband? Of course, there is no guarantee that you will find someone, but you can take a few actions to increase the chances of that happening. Make sure to expose yourself, try new activities, and build your confidence. We will teach you how to find the right man for you!
Part 1 of 3: Finding the Right Man
Step 1. Expose yourself
You won't meet the man of your dreams by sitting at home and watching bad TV shows. You have to expose yourself and start meeting people. You have to ask your friends and family for help so that you can meet new people. One of the men you meet might be the one.
- It is important that you do activities that are outside of your comfort zone. Not only will this broaden your network of potential friends, but it will also make you a more interesting person. For example, try going to a concert or taking rock climbing lessons if you normally read books. You will meet different types of people, who will introduce you to a much larger network of people in which you could find your husband.
- Make sure to tell your family and friends that you are looking to be in a relationship with someone and ask them to introduce you to a man they think you will like. Friends and family can be great at these types of topics, and they often have the best of intentions.
- Try different dating styles. Create a profile on an online dating website and see what you can get (after eliminating the suckers from that medium). Try going on blind dates that your friends and family have arranged for you. A large proportion of married people know their partner through mutual friends or family members.
Step 2. Practice being confident
Confidence is the characteristic that can get you more dates than any subjective appeal can get you. Fortunately, unlike physical appearance, confidence is a trait that can be learned and developed. The more you try, the more confident you will become and more men will be intrigued by your confidence.
- Pretend to be confident until it's true. The best thing about confidence is that you can pretend you have it and trick your mind into believing it. Start small: wear heels that you love but think are bad for you, or you can use a glowing red lipstick. Then do bigger acts of trust, like asking a man for his phone number, buying him a drink, etc.
- Don't compare yourself to people, especially other women. There will always be a nicer, more successful woman, with better relationships. You have to focus on the positive in yourself, instead of comparing yourself to people.
Step 3. Present yourself effectively
Dating is a bit marketing based or a bit like when you are looking for a job. You have to learn to present yourself in a way that attracts men. This does not mean that you should give all your personal information, but that you know how to communicate the best and the simplest of yourself.
- Write a list of your good qualities. If you have difficulties (many people with self-esteem issues do), have a friend you trust help you with it. For example, you could state that you are a listener, that you are fun, that you are a fabulous rock climber, that you are willing to do many activities, etc. You have to have positive qualities!
- Have a picture. Pick three qualities from your list and create an image based on them. This does not mean that you have to sacrifice yourself and appear to be a complex person, but it is a short way to introduce yourself and that your friends and family can describe you to your potential dates. For example, use the qualities mentioned above to present yourself as a fun, outgoing person with a willingness to do a lot of activities.
- Dress for success. You will not be badly dressed if you go to a job interview. You shouldn't dress too uncomfortably and make sure you dress for the occasion (you may not need to dress like when you go to the gym).
Step 4. Be a receptive person
It is very important that you do not limit your options for getting a date by focusing only on going to certain places (bars, parties, etc.). People meet their partners in different places; you will have to be receptive to that possibility.
- For example, you could make eye contact with a man on the train who you think is cute if you have to travel on the train for a long time. Strike up a conversation if you're feeling too daring.
- This is also why it is important to expose yourself to the world and do some activities. You could meet a couple in the park, the library, the plane in a far away place, the local charity.
Step 5. Eliminate bad people
If you expose yourself, introduce yourself effectively, so that you start to gain someone's interest. This is the time to start weeding out people you don't care about; the players, the strangers, the ones who won't be good husbands, etc.
- Don't be too picky. While it is true that you try to get rid of people who are not for you, you should consider giving a chance to men who you would not normally date. This is not to say that you should be interested in a scary man you met at the bar, but rather that you should try to date someone who doesn't have abs or who dresses in a way that you don't like. You never know what may come out of a relationship with such a person.
- Some characteristics that you should notice in a potential partner are: do not blame women for everything (at some point he will start to blame you too; stay away from a man who says you are different from other women; subtract points if he uses a pejorative language); that he is not obsessed with appearance (yours will disappear as the years go by, and he will start looking for someone younger); not wanting to be in an exclusive relationship (as they are less likely to commit to an exclusive relationship with you; you may get better options).
Step 6. Be realistic
Remember that there is no guarantee that you will be able to find a husband this way. Even if you do, he will probably not look like a movie star, he will treat you like a queen and dedicate every second of his life to your needs. This also doesn't mean that you won't find someone you love and have a passion for.
Part 2 of 3: Starting a relationship
Step 1. Show your interest
When you meet someone you think you like, show them. While it is true that this does not mean that you should be very dependent and show him all your emotions, you should show him some signs of interest. For example, you could flirt with him.
- The most important and basic part of flirting is eye contact. You can use it without hurting the way flirting is recommended. Maintain constant eye contact when talking to the man, dancing with him, or looking at him from wherever you are. At first it might be a bit awkward, but you will quickly feel that it is very intense and a connection will be created between you.
- Smile. This will soften the intensity of your gaze and show that you are interested. Never try to fake a smile, because fake smiles never reach the eyes.
- Ask him questions about him. People love to talk about themselves, so the man you like will be able to share about aspects of his life and find out that he interests you. Don't jump in right after he tells his story to tell one of yours. Instead, ask him questions based on his anecdote or what he has told you.
Step 2. Have a life of your own
You have to make sure you have a life apart from the one you have with him. Go out at night with your friends. Get out there and have fun. With this, you will not only show that you are not dependent, but that you will have more topics to tell him when they see each other.
- Don't drop everything to meet him whenever he tells you. You should not always reject him or say "no" so that he thinks that he no longer interests you. However, you should clarify the fact that you have some activities in your life apart from those you do with him and that, although it is true that you like to be with him, it is not the only thing you do in your life.
- For example, tell him that you would love to see him, but that you promised to accompany your friend to see the art exhibition if he calls you to ask you out for a night. Also, tell him that maybe they could see each other next weekend. By doing this, you show him that there are other activities in your life and that you are interested in him.
Step 3. Make him laugh
Laughter is a great way to pique someone's interest. Fortunately, you don't have to become a comedian to make him laugh. Also, it is important to remember that each person has a unique sense of humor. You have to evaluate the types of topics that he thinks are funny before you launch into your repertoire of occurrences.
- One type of humor that works well with most people is telling a funny story that actually happened. For example, you can tell him about the time you got lost on the subway and had to make your friend come to your rescue, or the time you tried to make donuts and almost burned the apartment.
- Do not denigrate yourself. Don't call yourself stupid or stupid, or call yourself some other pejorative you can think of. This will feed your insecurities, rather than boost your confidence. You can tease yourself a little for fun without actually insulting yourself.
Step 4. Be nice to her friends
As with women, the opinion of a man's friends will be very important in whether he continues to see you and has a serious perspective on the relationship. You have to make sure that his friends like you.
- This does not mean that you have to be an influential person and change to fit in with their friends. Similarly, you have the right to voice your opinion if their friends are rude or make disparaging comments that you disagree with. Actually, if that happens, you should reconsider your relationship with that man.
- When you are spending time with this man and his friends, ask him questions about themselves. For example, you can ask them about their jobs, where they come from, what they studied in college, what they wanted to be when they were little. Remember that people love to talk about themselves, and if their friends think you really care about the answers, they will be very interested in keeping you around.
Part 3 of 3: Deepening the relationship
Step 1. Don't rush the relationship
People have a big relationship problem when they rush it. It is true that you want to get married, and that is very understandable, but you have to really make sure that you want to be married to that person for the rest of your life. Otherwise, many problems will appear in the future.
- Normally, it is preferable that three months pass before they begin to have a serious relationship. This period of time allows you to overcome the initial elevation (the "honeymoon" phase) and allows you to see the relationship more clearly.
- For example, let's say you meet a nice man and they've been on a few dates. Instead of trying to immediately give her hints about marriage or moving in together, back off and let the relationship take its natural course. This way, he won't feel like you have a need to get a husband.
Step 2. Moderate expectations
Having high expectations is the element that has a tendency to complicate relationships. It is a great pressure that you would put on the person with whom you are in a relationship if you have a married life planned until death do you part. Most likely, the situation will not turn out the way you plan. (Welcome to life).
- For example, imagine that you have some dates with a man and you already tell your friends that he is the one. Also, you spend your time fantasizing about the perfect marriage you will have together, rather than spending time with him in your present relationship. You have to allow that relationship to develop.
- There is nothing wrong with you dreaming or hoping that it is about the man you will marry, but you have to make sure you live the reality of the relationship. That amazing man in your mind might not look like the man you are actually in a relationship with and it will hurt when he turns out to be not the person you imagined him to be.
Step 3. Take an interest in their interests
A good way to make sure your relationship progresses more than just going on a few dates is to be interested in what he cares about. This does not mean that you should mold yourself to what you think he wants, or that you get rid of your own interests. On the contrary, it means that you should find out their interests, ask them about them and try them, perhaps.
- For example, imagine that he likes swimming. You could ask him about the swimming styles he does, the way he got interested in swimming, if they like to compete and so on. You could even have him help you improve your own swimming techniques.
- However, remember that there will be problems in the future if he only cares about his hobbies and never yours. This could be because he is a narcissistic person and does not care about you as you deserve it.
Step 4. Don't take it for granted
A very important part of having a long-lasting relationship is making sure that you show the person how important they are to you. In this way, he will feel that he is important to you and that will strengthen the relationship you have.
- Tell him what he means to you. Say "It really means a lot to me that you did the dishes last night" or "Thank you so much for listening to me complain about my bad day."
- You could do a few small acts to show your appreciation. You can take him to perform one of his favorite activities as a surprise or write him a letter with the reasons why he means so much to you.
Step 5. Evaluate if she has an interest in the marriage
You have to find out if he is the type of person who wants to marry and what his opinion about marrying you. It could be time for you to move on with your life and find someone you are more compatible with if he doesn't want to marry, which is very important to you.
- You can ask him directly about what he thinks of the marriage. (Avoid asking that question early in the relationship. Otherwise, you will make a strong impression.)
- You might be better off asking that question calmly. You could bring up the fact that some mutual friends have gotten married, or that someone at work got married and say, "I think a person's early thirties is the right time to get married, what do you think?" It is a bad sign if he reacts badly to this idea.
- You should pay attention to the way he uses "we" when referring to the future. The more he plans for the future with you, in terms of maintaining the relationship, the more likely he is to intend to commit and marry you.